Episode 3: Get on the bus or get out of the way: Coaches getting coached

Have you ever been stuck? Ridiculous question right? This episode is about getting unstuck. Becoming really clear(er). And moving forward!

Your hosts, Lisa and Vimla reach out to a coach friend, John Poelstra for a session that has become episode 3. You'll hear John ask some simple yet clarifying questions. You'll hear us 'sound out' our answers which John repeats back in words so simple we can actually hear ourselves. John helps both of us get clear on why we're doing this podcast. In doing so we get unstuck and create a clear goal that we are well on our way to achieving!

John Poelstra can be reached at his website: https://johnpoelstra.com/

If you'd like to be a coached by Lisa or Vimla please reach out to us at: https://yourvitalself.com/coachingconfidential

If you would like to sample coaching for yourSelf, CONTACT US.

If you'd like to share what listening was like for you, DROP A LINE. We'd love to hear you!

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Transcript

Lisa | 00:04

Hi, and welcome to episode three of the podcast called Coaching Confidential. We're your hosts, Lisa D and Vimla. And if this is your first time listening, we're really excited that you're here. This is a podcast about life coaching. We bring you into a real life unscripted coaching session. In this podcast, you get to be a fly on the wall. We also take you into our behind the scenes coaching debrief or postgame, if you will. There we talk about the session, what came up during the session, what stood out in the session, what shifted, and the session takeaways.

Vimla | 00:49

In this episode, we are coached by our former colleague John Poelstra, about why we are doing this podcast and what we are creating in this partnership.

Lisa | 01:00

So in full transparency, as we experiment with this podcast, we got a bit lost in the mechanics and we got a bit lost around what we wanted to bring you, the listener. So as we were getting ready to record episode two, we were spinning our wheels and we knew that we could benefit from some coaching to help us get clear and unstuck. <laugh>, we left the session clear on why we're doing the podcast, what's important to us about it, and what we hope you, the listeners will take away about the possibilities of coaching. So here's that coaching session.

John | 01:45

So I got a couple questions for you that you can answer however you want to, that maybe will help people get a clear sense as to what this is all about. My first question is, what is the driving motivation, passion force, whatever that's compelling you to wanna do this podcast.

Vimla | 02:05

Lisa, do you wanna go first?

Lisa | 02:08

I can. I, I love talking about coaching bottom line

John | 02:14

And what is it? I, I can't just, I need more <laugh>. What is it about talking about coaching that's like people that like to talk about their dog? Like, but why?

Lisa | 02:24

Because I love coaching and it's ability to, to unlock so much that's locked up to free. Okay. That was gonna sound so coachy to free that which is inside us.

John | 02:43

No, what's coming to me is the sense of creating freedom. It creates freedom.

Lisa | 02:47

Yeah. Yeah.

John | 02:50

Who wouldn't want that?

Lisa | 02:53

And it helps people get clear. And who wouldn't want some clarity right now helps us understand what is standing in our way and who doesn't wanna demystify that mystery. It helps people work through and hold what's in the way and who doesn't wanna work through what's in the way. It helps people make a, a pathway to their goals, to what they really want. It is the most invitational it can be useful, natural, creative conversation there is.

John | 03:40

What's the profound impact that coaching has had on you?

Lisa | 03:45

Relief and freedom. Relief. That, that I'm not expected to figure all this stuff out on my own. And there is help and freedom from beliefs, freedom from beliefs that were keeping me from what I wanted and that will continue. Like, it's not a one and done right <laugh>. Like it's, I know that there are other beliefs that are gonna be in my way that I may want to, if not reform, like navigate around.

John | 04:31

The coaching is the cre, the perpetual creation of freedom.

Lisa | 04:35

That's great, John. Yeah,

John | 04:40

So just what I heard you say. So Vimla, what's your compelling passion, purpose, mission behind this?

Vimla | 04:53

I want to live in a different world than I'm living in now. I want to live in a world where everyone takes responsibility for themselves. Not just like physically, financially, uh, but also emotionally. People don't act out of, uh, like a reactionary place, but they act out of more, uh, clarity and, uh, with awareness of the impact of their actions. Not just today, but tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and a hundred years from today. And that's my compelling reason.

John | 05:48

So I hear like a massive ripple effect.

Vimla | 05:51

Yes, this podcast might be just a tiny job, but yes, a massive ripple effect.

John | 06:04

And if that massive ripple effect happens, what is your hope that people listening to this will experience or have?

Vimla | 06:22

I think the people listening will have, uh, an ability to deal with their emotions, take care of their emotional bodies. They will have clarity of goals, they'll have clear purpose in their life, and they'll know how to deal with obstacles that may show up time and again.

John | 06:53

Would you add anything to that, Lisa?

Lisa | 06:55

No, I must admit I was waiting for your succinct three word, bottom line, <laugh>,

John | 07:04

Uh, oh. Well, I, I had some sense of like, maybe there was a tie in to freedom in what Vimla was saying, but I didn't feel it strong enough to say it, so I didn't.

Lisa | 07:20

Well, the, the things that popped out to me and um, f I know I missed one, were emotions, roadblocks, responsibility. Was there One more?

Vimla | 07:37

Clarity. Clarity. Clarity of purpose. Clarity of goals, clarity and their, uh, impact of their behaviors and the impact not just today, but the ripple effects. So people are aware of the ripple effects of their behaviors that can travel through time, that can travel through geographical areas.

John | 08:16

I wonder if there was a place here too for what these, what you hope people will be being doing and having.

Vimla | 08:27

People would have love, they would be responsible. <laugh>. For some reason the word responsible keeps coming because I, I guess I've seen so many irresponsible actions and behaviors. They would be responsible, they would have love and they would be taking care of each other and themselves.

John | 09:05

Do you wanna answer the same question, Lisa, or do you wanna leave it or how can I help?

Lisa | 09:11

I would love people to have and be and do all the things that Bili just said. I'm less attached to the specifics, right? Like, like when I look at those things, have love, be responsible, do take care of each other. And I look at emotions, roadblocks, responsibility and clarity of purpose. I just think wellbeing and, um, contentment. And actually there's a, a short step for me between contentment and freedom. So I, I guess I'm less attached to the manifestations of it <laugh>, right? Because what, what Vimla might see is irresponsible behavior. I might not see that the exact same way, but, um, I definitely feel like more attached to say people being responsible for their impact

John | 10:35

Intended and unintended impact.

Vimla | 10:37

Yes.

Lisa | 10:39

Yeah.

John | 10:42

What comes to my mind is it, those are such simple, well, contentment, there was something that came before contentment, but even without specifics, those things can create ripple effect. Like they can create so many other things from them.

Lisa | 11:00

Yeah. It was wellbeing, contentment in a, in a half step to freedom.

John | 11:08

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Lisa | 11:10

I dunno. I guess for me it's, and I'm making this up right now, um, cause I'm just feeling into what is in the space and I'm listening to what's not being said <laugh>, and I'm making up a narrative from that. Let me check it out with you guys. It's sort of like, I feel like for me it's more about the internal piece and I feel like Vimla's describing what's happening on the outside.

John | 11:42

Hmm.

Lisa | 11:44

I I'm, I'm not saying you're, I'm talking exclusively about the inside or that you are not including the inside Vimla. I'm not excluding that. I just feel like, you know, when you talk about I wanna live in a different world, I think I wanna live in a different world inside here. <laugh> like, you know, especially I and perhaps because I've just spent, you know, a year plus with ju more or less just this, right? And I dramatize that just a little bit, right? But I, I feel a little bit less attached to what's out there. Um, or I feel a little bit like, okay, if I can't control what's out there, then how, how do I wanna be in here? But how I be in here actually does impact via the ripple effect what's happening out there.

John | 12:41

Yeah. They both inform each other.

Lisa | 12:45

And this is maybe a great time to put this word in the conversation. I've had the privilege of not having to be out there so much, right? Like, I can crawl into my bubble <laugh> because I can, right? Because I have all the privilege that I have, but not everybody has that privilege. There are some people who haven't had the option to not be out there, right? So I'm, I might feel different otherwise or I might feel different for different reasons. It's just where I'm at. You're gonna meet me here, right? Cuz that's what coaching does. Sorry, that was <laugh>. That was me creating a commercial for life coaching that me

John | 13:35

<laugh>.

Lisa | 13:39

Okay. Well what did you think about what I said about the inside versus the outside?

Vimla | 13:47

I th I think they're two sides of the same coin. I think we are saying similar things and thinking in terms of, or speaking in terms of the outcomes and how I would witness it outside. But it has to come from the inside.

Lisa | 14:04

Mm. So if I'm curious, and I might be taking control here or trying to, if John were to say, so we have one minute left. Where would we be Vimla? Cause I have a thought for myself, but I, I wanna hear or invite you to share where you're at.

Vimla | 14:22

I feel complete. I think this is great

Lisa | 14:26

In, in relative to like why we employed John. What's changed? Cuz we came to this call, sort of like stuck.

John | 14:40

Okay, I can ask that question. All right. So we've thrown around a number of different things and looked in some different places. And so what's here now that wasn't here before, which is a really coachy question of saying what's different <laugh>. I'll just say that. What's different?

Vimla | 15:08

I think we have a very clear message for our listeners and a very clear message about what this is about and why we are doing this. In other words, we have a clear articulation of what is coaching confidential and why we are doing this podcast.

Lisa | 15:33

I'm gonna add to that. I just wrote myself a permission slip

John | 15:44

<laugh>, just do it. You can be imperfect signed Lisa d

Lisa | 15:51

And I was doing that while I was listening to what you were saying, Vimla. And it's like, even if I don't believe that the message is totally clear or as clear or as crisp as it should be according to my critic, I feel like we'll get there and we can figure it out along the way. So like for episode two, it can be there or not. Or it can be there like 1% and then it, it's there like 50% by episode six and by episode 10 it's like, wow, that's what we were searching for before episode two. But nobody would e even be hearing two through 10 if we waited for that, right? Even even if it's just one person that's listening.

John | 16:47

Yeah. I wanna encourage you to go beyond that too, which is when you get to episode 11, if episode 11 completely contradicts everything that you just said you wanted it to be, but it's where you're meant to go next, go there

John | 17:02

And then in episode 31 you'll be like, wait, we're kind of back to what we said we wanted to do in episode three when we talked to John. And then in episode 50, like who, I don't know, I just, I just wanna encourage you to just go wherever you go. You're always on the path. I love talking to prospective clients. You're like, yeah, I need help. I need help finding the path. I was like, what if you're already on a path? Are you on a path? Are you walking or are you going somewhere? Yeah, well maybe you're already on it, maybe you don't. There's nothing to look for.

Lisa | 17:34

I just had this other bright light shine. There's a tiny voice in my head saying, it's a little narcissistic, but we're making this podcast like earlier. It was like, well what do we want the listeners to take away? It's like, what? Well, what do we, what, what do the listeners want? <laugh>? It's like, no, we're making this for ourselves.

John | 17:58

This is what we want for the listeners.

Lisa | 18:02

We're making this for ourselves. Period.

John | 18:08

That's the tension of this. If you come in with the judgment of like, well I don't wanna be like those other narcissistic people that just talk about themselves and take pictures of their salads, then it's, then you can get stuck in the loop of like, yeah, I don't wanna be like that. But then it's like, well then what am I gonna, but if you can take away the part that's, that says this is narcissistic and it's like, I don't know, if you believe you have something to share, then share it. And if people don't wanna listen to it, that's their problem. <laugh>,

Lisa | 18:40

Keep scrolling,

John | 18:44

Get on the bus or get out of the way. You know, <laugh>

Vimla | 18:48

My rebel feels good to hear you say that. That's exactly what it wants to say all the time.

John | 18:56

<laugh>.

Lisa | 18:57

I feel a sense of freedom now, now that I have this permission slip. I feel free. And what was important about the podcast for me, you distill down into a perpetual path to freedom. I am. I am at the place I want to create by doing this.

John | 19:20

Yes. Yeah. You could publish something every day that's like whatever. Like, nobody's gonna stop you. Nobody can stop you. Nobody can say, oh, you know? Yeah. They just can't. Only you can stop you. <laugh>.

Lisa | 19:42

So welcome to our coaching post game. First we'll start with the client's experience. So Vimla, what was this experience like for you?

Vimla | 19:56

It was an intense session. I have to say. I got reconnected with my larger purpose, which is to cause a ripple effect that will change this world, change the world where I live. It really hit me because my larger purpose is huge. Changing the world. <laugh>, that's huge. And this podcast is one step in a series of steps aimed at changing this world that we live in. Um, the coaching session also triggered my saboteurs and reminded me how my saboteurs show up when I'm doing something big. So after that call, I took some time for taking care of myself, nurturing myself, meditating. Um, yeah, it was huge. But it connected me to myself, my purpose.

Lisa | 20:49

Mm, beautiful. Yeah. You always inspire me with your mindful way of being Vimla.

Vimla | 20:57

Thanks Lisa. What was the experience like for you?

Lisa | 21:02

It was actually similar. I'm, I'm just gonna use different words. I think I got the exact thing from the session that I want for everybody who gets coached, right? Or that I want for anybody who works with me to, to feel from coaching. And that is the feeling of freedom. It's kind of funny how that worked cuz I didn't anticipate that I would say that in this session with John. In fact, I didn't know what I was gonna say, but I just didn't think it was gonna be that. And so I got that very thing that I want. And I had been stuck. We had been stuck, but I had been in the energy of stuck myself. So, and, and for me stuck is like heavy. I can't move. I feel like I have my um, boots in the mud, right? <laugh>. And so now I sort of feel lighter and more energized, sort of like, I just decided well the boots can stay in the mud. I'm, I'm moving on <laugh> and sort of like I tiptoed over the mud, you know? Um, and I've stayed that way. So the coaching was phenomenal <laugh> for me. Thank you for asking.

Vimla | 22:25

So what were our takeaways do you think we should share with the listeners?

Lisa | 22:30

Oh, I think so because anybody who listens is actually gonna be a part of the takeaways. <laugh>. Yeah. So we set a goal, um, to make 10 episodes that can be absolute crap or imperfect <laugh>. That's one goal You wanna share the next one, Goma?

Vimla | 22:51

Yes. We let go of the belief that we need to create a trailer. Um, we decided every episode we are going to introduce ourselves and talk a little bit about coaching Confidential.

Lisa | 23:04

Yeah, I love that one because I think we got wrapped around the axle of needing that. We've decided we don't need that, at least for now. So the next takeaway is that we realized that we're doing this podcast because we love coaching and because we wanna share the gift that coaching is, and we wanna do this for ourselves. So that doesn't mean that you all don't matter <laugh>, um, but it just means that, you know, we are freer to create whatever it is that we want. Um, which is probably gonna be a better thing than trying to aim at some target for everybody. Really.

Vimla | 23:46

We got in touch with the very thing we believe coaching provides everyone, which is freedom.

Lisa | 23:53

And I think that's what you described and what your experience was like. And I think it's what I described and what my experience is like. We just used different language for it.

Vimla | 24:03

Yeah. So what got us here? What did the coach do to get us here? What did John do?

Lisa | 24:11

John did what John is so good at. He asked us a lot of clarifying questions and there were questions that we hadn't asked ourselves even though they were super simple. John also asked the same question different ways. So for example, he asked us, what's important about this podcast and what is important for you to take away and what is the impact you'd like to have with this podcast? So they're all like related questions. They're all kind of dancing around the center of, of the same thing. Um, and he just danced with us around the center of this topic so that we could continue to get clear each time. He asked this variation on the same question. So he asked us a lot of questions we hadn't asked ourselves, which helped us clarify things. He asked the same questions different ways. Yes. And he simplified what we were saying. All awesome coaching skills and um, even awesome are the way John does them.

Vimla | 25:26

Yeah, absolutely. So we'd like to thank John for his awesome coaching and if you would like to get to know John, you can visit his website. It's johnpoelstra.com and John also has his own podcast. It's called The John Poelstra Show.

Lisa | 25:45

We'll put a link to John's site in our show notes. And if you'd like the opportunity to have a free coaching session with Vimla or myself, please reach out to us at our site, dub dub dub, your vital self.com/coaching confidential. As always, check the show notes for hyperlinks and thanks for joining us. This has been great fun.

✨  GETTING STARTED

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