Episode 19: How to get better at decision making

Decision making isn't always easy even when we think it's supposed to be. In this engaging session, Vimla coaches Emilie, a dynamic entrepreneur and yoga instructor at Seasonal Intentions.  Emilie is looking to get clarity that will help her make a decision  impacting her career, family and finances.

From a place of uncertainty, Emilie emerges clear, reconnecting with important elements of herself that are her surest guides toward 'the right' decision.

If you've ever struggled to make a decision you're likely to get a lot from this episode.
 
Our client Emilie Reid is an entrepreneur and the founder of Seasonal Intentions, an online business that focuses on Ayurvedic-inspired yoga and seasonal living. She is also a part-time teacher at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Massachusetts.

Key Takeaways:

1. Starting Point and Desired Outcome: The session began with Emily's question about when to invest in continuing education. Her desired outcome was to gain clarity, rather than making an immediate decision.
2. Defining Clarity: Vimla skillfully helped Emily identify how she would know when she was clear about her decision. This involved connecting with the feeling in her body as an indicator of clarity.
3. Reflective Exploration: The conversation revolved around walking metaphorically through a labyrinth, circling the topic of continuing education, and exploring different energies and perspectives.
4. Empowered Decision-Making: The session focused on the process of decision-making and choosing the energy from which decisions are made.
5. Outcome: Clarity and Process: The primary outcome was not a definitive decision but rather the process of gaining clarity through self-awareness and exploration.

Quotes:

• "I want time to integrate. I want time to actually feel the effects, I want time to experience." - Emilie
• "I feel like I'm coming around again, kind of like in my previous life... I'm a little bit like, why do I need this certification?" - Emilie
• "I want less scattered, more integration, more wholeness." - Emilie

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Chapters

• 0:05 Introduction to Coaching Confidential Podcast
• 1:21 Vimla describes the coaching client's topic: Making a decision about further education
• 3:42 Introduction of Emilie, the client
• 5:25 Exploring the decision of whether or not to pursue further education
• 9:25 Exploring the potential outcomes of not pursuing further education
• 11:41 Exploring the potential outcomes of pursuing further education
• 14:31 Importance of professional growth and depth of services
• 19:57 Resistance to formal education and desire for integration
• 25:38 Rebel energy and desire energy
• 29:26 Decision from desire: focus on growing the business
• 32:40 Checking in with the body and feeling clarity
• 35:25 Homework: go outside and check in with the decision
• 38:52 Reflection on the coaching process and the power of reflection
• 38:53 Coach Vimla & Coach Lisa reflect on the coaching session, the outcomes, skills used
• 47:19 Invitation to work with the coaches and leave a review
• 48:06 Conclusion and invitation to stay tuned for future episodes

Transcript

Vimla | 00:05

Hello and welcome to the Coaching Confidential Podcast. In this podcast, we bring you insight and unscripted real life coaching session. So before we talk about the episode that you'll be hearing today, we want to put a shameless plug for inviting you to work with us. If you have heard some of our coaching sessions, you know the impact that coaching can have on you, on your life, on your goals, and on your decision making. And you also know that Lisa and I are very skillful coaches who are committed to helping people.

Lisa | 00:40

Yes, that's skillful and humble coaches as well. <laugh>. Yes. Um, but if you, seriously, if you would like to know more about our why, in other words, why we believe so much in coaching that as fairly unskilled podcasters, we've had a, a long go at this. Listen to episode three in season one, and you'll hear more about why we're doing this. And if you're attracted to that, if that draws you in and you'd like to work with us or be a guest on our podcast, we'll tell you how at the end of the episode. In the meantime, let's talk about today's episode. What is here, Vimla?

Vimla | 01:21

So in this session, I am the coach and my client is Emilie, who's an entrepreneur running an online business called Seasonal Intentions. She also teaches at Kripalu, which is a Center for Yoga and Health, located in New England. The topic in today's session is making a decision about if and when to invest in further education. This session explores the layers that go into a decision, and all those layers can make a decision complicated and unclear. So folks, if you have ever struggled to make a decision that you feel should have been easy, please do listen to this episode. It reveals how our unconscious motivations are present in our decisions.

Lisa | 02:05

Yes, I think so many of us just focus on wanting to make the right decision, often not knowing what the right decision actually is, what would be, right. So making the unconscious conscious is often where our learning begins. And this is really, actually, so often the outcome of any coaching session, but you're definitely gonna hear that in this session. You won't actually hear the decision, interestingly, spoiler alert <laugh>, but you will hear that the client reaches their desired outcome. So essentially the session moves from sort of a confused or unclear place for the client to a place of being very aware and crystal clear. So you'll hear our client Emilie re-encounter parts of herself that help her get to that clarity. And, you know, if you just think about your own experience in life, if you reacquaint yourself with a part of you that actually is super clear, might be buried under the surface, but it's there and it's clear, you can see what choice to make, and the decision just is right there. The answer, <laugh>, where to go is very obvious. So we can make the choice from the lens of who we want to be or who we are wanting to actually become versus who we used to be or who others want us to be.

Emilie | 03:38

Yeah.

Vimla | 03:38

So let's listen, Emilie, welcome, welcome to the Coaching Confidential Podcast. Before we get started, would you like to introduce yourself to our listeners, please?

Emilie | 03:50

Yeah, thank you Vimla, and thanks for hosting me. I'm really excited to be coached by you for the very first time. I've done some things with Lisa, who is, I know your co-host, but this'll be our first time coaching together, so I'm really grateful. Um, my name is Emilie Reed. I use she and her pronouns. And, uh, primarily I run my own online business, um, called Seasonal Intentions. You can find me@seasonalintentions.com. I teach Ayurvedic inspired yoga, um, seasonal living, including things from Ayurveda and the food realm, um, but also in terms of lifestyle. And I find that all of these things have helped me and helped my clients be just more in tune with your own personal rhythm, with the rhythm of nature, and then lead a more vibrant life. That's really my why is I hope that everything I share helps people lead a more vibrant life. Wow. Whatever season they're in.

Vimla | 04:50

That's so beautiful. And I love the name Seasonal Intentions.

Emilie | 04:55

Thanks, Vimla. I also teach, uh, part-time at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health out in Western Massachusetts here in, um, Stockbridge. And, um, that will play into our, our, my topic that I have for today.

Vimla | 05:13

Wonderful. All right. So since you've, uh, already alluded to the topic, let's just go there. So what's our topic for, uh, coaching today?

Emilie | 05:24

So I am sitting in the inquiry of, um, something that maybe many professionals have, especially if you're an entrepreneur, a solopreneur like me. Um, which is whether or not, or, and maybe when to, uh, embark on some more continuing education. Um, in the yoga world, I guess it's the most formal <laugh> of, um, the things. And I've done some studies in Ayurveda and there's an opportunity for me to, um, go a little deeper and take what's called the Ayurvedic Health Counselor Training. And so I am considering this and the sort of maybe money coaching piece of it is definitely a part of it. It's like, okay, you know, at what point do I take time away from my other work to really embark on more studies? Um, and is is now the right time? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, which would really be September.

Vimla | 06:36

Awesome. So would you say the topic is making a decision?

Emilie | 06:40

Yes.

Vimla | 06:42

And a decision about growing your skills or continuing to grow yourself?

Emilie | 06:51

Yes.

Vimla | 06:52

Awesome. At the end of our time today, what's an outcome you would like around this topic?

Emilie | 07:01

I would love to have, um, or walk away with a few more, um, concrete ways of thinking about my decision. I'm okay with not having made the decision in our coaching <laugh> session today, but, um, I find it's always really helpful for me to, um, talk challenging decisions or meaningful decisions out with someone else, like a coach. And so, um, my hope is that I'll get maybe some other questions to ask myself and continue, um, in the pondering

Vimla | 07:37

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So a little bit of exploration and maybe the outcome would be a little more, uh, perspectives or more frames to look at this from. And, uh, you did not use this word, but I'm using this word. Maybe this is for the sake of clarity.

Emilie | 07:57

Yes.

Vimla | 07:58

Awesome. Yeah. So maybe you wanna walk away with more clarity than you have right now.

Emilie | 08:03

Yes.

Vimla | 08:05

Awesome. Um, so let's start with assuming that you have arrived at Clarity. How would you feel it <laugh>? How would you know that you're clear?

Emilie | 08:19

How would I know that? I am clear? I, um, I, I think I would feel like even though life continues and there are always things happening and decisions being made on a daily basis, that, um, I, in clarity, I would feel good and solid and strong about my choice and not be questioning it again and again.

Vimla | 08:47

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, so you would feel solid, good, and strong. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, how would you feel it in your body?

Emilie | 08:54

Just like standing upright, two feet on the ground, like, here I am in my decision. Yeah.

Vimla | 09:01

Wonderful. All right. So let's keep, uh, let's keep observing your body so you know, when you're clear.

Emilie | 09:08

<laugh>.

Vimla | 09:10

All right. Um, so when you were sharing about the topic or the decision, you said a few things about, um, if you wanna do this and when you want to do this. Where should we go first? Should we go to the, if you wanna do it or when you want to do it?

Emilie | 09:28

Hmm. That's a good question. I think maybe, uh, uh, they're both connected, but maybe it's an if

Speaker 4 | 09:44

Mm-hmm.

Emilie | 09:45

<affirmative>. Yeah.

Vimla | 09:46

Alright. So if you want to take this training or not, those are the, let's say, those are the two choices and we can explore both. Would that help?

Emilie | 09:57

Yes.

Vimla | 09:58

Alright. So which one do you wanna explore first? If you do it or if you don't do it.

Emilie | 10:03

Oh, if I don't do it.

Vimla | 10:05

Alright, let's do that. Um, so if you have a paper and pen, let's say, what would be different? If you're not doing this training, let's capture that.

Emilie | 10:19

So you want me to write it down or say it out loud?

Vimla | 10:22

Yeah, you can write it down and share it. We could take a moment to capture it, if you like, on a paper or just share it.

Emilie | 10:31

Hmm. And your question was, what would be different if I didn't do it?

Vimla | 10:41

Yes. If you did not do it.

Emilie | 10:44

If I did not do it in theory, I would have some more time to dedicate to growing my, my business actively. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 | 10:56

<affirmative>,

Emilie | 10:56

Um, probably some more time in my garden. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And, um, I would get several of my weekends, um, free over the next year because it's, you know, intensive training over almost the course of a year. Mm-hmm.

Vimla | 11:26

<affirmative>. So you would have personal time?

Emilie | 11:29

Yeah, personal time, family time, and also time and energy to dedicate to the business. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 | 11:35

<affirmative>.

Vimla | 11:36

Um, alright, so let's go to the other side now if you do it. What happens

Emilie | 11:44

If I take the training mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 | 11:47

<affirmative>,

Emilie | 11:48

I will be seen in my, um, Kapalo work minimally and potentially also my, my business work as a bit more of an, uh, authority on the topic. Mm-hmm. I could, um, offer a different scope for my clients and for the work that I do at Kripalu, which is similar, but different. Um, I would be dedicating several weekends and, um, weeks and, you know, almost a year to the training and I would continue to grow my own personal, um, exploration of the topic in this case. Ayurveda mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Vimla | 12:47

So I heard personal growth, um, I heard at some point, let's say after the training, you would be expanding your services or expanding your business in some ways

Emilie | 13:03

More the, the scope, like the depth of what I can offer mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Vimla | 13:07

Yeah. So the scope and the depth of your services. And, um, you used the word authority.

Emilie | 13:16

Mm-hmm.

Vimla | 13:17

So you would say more about that? What do you mean?

Emilie | 13:21

Yeah, there, uh, what I'm hearing from my manager and some of my other, um, mentors at, um, Kripalu is that this kind of thing, continued training in this topic would, um, be helpful for me as I continue to grow within the organization. So there's a little bit of like, I'm have my own business part-time, and then I'm also, you know, supporting the mission of another organization part-time. And so in that organization, having some of these more formal trainings is seen as, um, particularly helpful and important. Um, so I would check those boxes if you will. Mm-hmm.

Vimla | 14:05

<affirmative>, would you say professional growth?

Emilie | 14:08

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Vimla | 14:10

So professional growth and depth in the services that you offer?

Emilie | 14:18

Yes.

Vimla | 14:18

Okay. And the other thing you said was, um, uh, personal growth, meaning that, um, um, like you would be pursuing your passion.

Emilie | 14:31

One of them. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. It would require me sort of dedicating some more specific time to one specific area. Yeah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Vimla | 14:42

Yeah. Um, it seems like, uh, to me that it's very, um, that it's clear to you about what happens if you do it or what happens if you don't do it. Um, let's talk about how important it is to have that professional growth in your, uh, like in Kripalu, let's say, or how important it is to go deeper in the scope of services that you offer. Or how important is it to pursue your personal growth in one space?

Emilie | 15:40

Yeah. I think one of the challenges that I am rubbing up against is that, um, I know intuitively and in, in, in my body I can feel it. I know that, um, some of the training that I've already been doing or some of the more recent training, it's like, okay, training after training, after training, after training instead of doing and integrating and experiencing and things like that. And so part of my hesitation to jumping right into it is like, what I, I want time to integrate. I want time to actually feel the effects I want time to experience. And, um, and it's possible that other entrepreneurs feel this way too. It's like, how, how do you continue to explore maybe outside of a more school-like setting mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. Um, and so those opportunities are either rare or different or maybe less structured. Um, and certainly not put on your resume a bowl <laugh>. Yes. Right. It's harder to, um, point to, um, for myself and for others mm-hmm.

Vimla | 17:00

<affirmative>,

Emilie | 17:01

And I resist that a little bit. I'm a little bit like, why do I need this certification? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, right? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, why do I need that? Do I, do I really need that? And so I was, I push up against a little bit of like the, the formality of the things, um, for the sake of wanting to explore in depth for myself that those topics perhaps, but not necessarily in the more clinical setting, if you will. Yeah. For lack of a better term. And so, I don't know, I feel like I'm coming around again, kind of like, so in my previous life, I, um, I have a bachelor's degree in international relations mm-hmm. <affirmative>, and I wanted to pursue a, uh, a career and I did in international relations. But what happened after I graduated from my bachelor's, from my undergrad is, uh, not only had nine 11 just happened.

Emilie | 18:03

Hmm. And I was in Washington DC area trying to look for a job, but I realized that it was almost impossible to get even an unpaid internship with only a bachelor's degree. They were looking for people with master's degrees after their name. And so in that moment I had thought, okay, I'm gonna spend two years being in the field discovering exactly what I wanted to specialize in, and then go back to school and actually dive deeper into that topic. And instead I just realized, oh, it doesn't matter what I do or how long I study for or where I study, they just wanna see the little check mark next to my name that says that I had the master's degree experience. And so I, I went sort of, if you will, the easy route back to my undergrad, a one year program. I knew the professors, I knew, you know, I could take things that I enjoyed even if I wasn't specializing. And so I feel myself kind of like in a moment like that again where I'm like, okay, <laugh> <laugh>, do I just need the box checked for the sake of the box check? Yes, of course I learned in that process and I gained a lot and, um, you know, all of that, but maybe I'm sort of in that moment of resistance also because of the experience from, from that past example. Um, none of which I regretted. Yes. Um, so yeah, the sort of formal piece of things versus the go out and experience and, and practice these things in real life before gaining more, um, traditional clinical skill

Vimla | 19:55

Yeah.

Emilie | 19:55

Knowledge, if you will.

Vimla | 19:57

Yeah. Um, so I'm, I'm hearing we sort of segued our conversation into the resistance.

Emilie | 20:09

Hmm.

Vimla | 20:11

We were talking about what would like these two scenarios, if you do the training or if you're not, do the training. And we talked a little bit about what's challenging in this moment. To me it seems like, um, what's the obstacle to making that decision? And I heard two things. One is the opportunity to integrate and opportunity to, uh, sort of sit with, uh, sort of already like all the trainings that you have done already, like deepen them in your, in yourself, in your personal growth, in your like embodied way feeling all of them, the integration that you talked about. And the other is, um, resistance. Uh, and the resistance. Um, this was not your word, but I'm, I'm gonna throw a word out there. The res resistance to, um, a societal way of doing things.

Emilie | 21:17

Yes. <laugh>. And if we're listing obstacles, I think another big one for me is also the financial, um, exchange mm-hmm. <affirmative>, right? The commitment financially to take the training and, um, you know, the other financial pieces of my life and, and family and things like that.

Vimla | 21:40

Yes. Um, so reorganizing your money or rearranging your resources, time, energy and money, there is a resistance to doing that.

Emilie | 21:56

Or maybe there's more of a fear that maybe that's not the right priority for me and my family at the moment

Vimla | 22:05

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>

Emilie | 22:06

In terms of where to put those resources. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah.

Vimla | 22:11

Yeah. Where should we go from here? Should we explore the obstacles

Emilie | 22:24

Or,

Vimla | 22:26

Or, uh, go back to the, if, if this versus that the, you know, the decision making process I'm hearing. Um, so we started off with this idea around making a decision, right? And then we broke it up open into if and when and, uh, and somehow we are here in this place of resistance to the decision obstacles to the decision. It's, um, there are other things that sort of are in between you and making decisions, and those are, um, rearranging financial resources, time, energy, resources in this moment. Like at this point in time, uh, the a little bit of, um, not doing things a prescribed way, little bit of resistance to this, the way society, so to speak, has arranged itself and, uh, a little bit of a desire for integration.

Emilie | 23:51

Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to my life. <laugh> <laugh>. That kind of captures it. It's really powerful by the way, Vimla for to hear it back, um, named in that way and organized in that way because that's not always how it feels in my head, <laugh>, when I'm considering the decision. And so it's one of the reasons why I love coaching, because it is so powerful to simply have someone like you, anyone else other than my brain to organize things a little bit differently. And even though that's, you know, parceling things out, it, it helps. Yes.

Vimla | 24:31

And helps. Yes. It's like, so thank you. Two brains looking at one thing. So you have additional resources.

Emilie | 24:38

Yes.

Vimla | 24:40

Yeah. So where should we go? Uh, should we explore the desire?

Emilie | 24:47

Yeah. Let's explore the desire mm-hmm.

Vimla | 24:50

<affirmative>. So would you, would it be accurate to say that the desire is for integration? Integration of what's present?

Emilie | 25:03

When I hear you say it like that, the ans the short answer is yes. And I wonder if my desire for integration is partly resistance, like part of that resistance against like, no, no, no, I don't wanna do it that way, so I'm gonna do it this way kind of thing. Um mm-hmm. <affirmative>, because we were naming that together earlier. So my hesitation in saying yes, that is the desire is realizing that it's a little bit wrapped up into that,

Vimla | 25:38

You

Emilie | 25:38

Know, you're Yeah.

Vimla | 25:40

In some ways you're calling yourself out,

Emilie | 25:42

I am <laugh> <laugh>, I'm, yeah. The rebel has showed up to the party. Yes. And it's like, I don't wanna do it that way. And that's a part of me

Vimla | 25:55

Yes.

Emilie | 25:57

In life. Yeah. Yes.

Vimla | 26:00

Uh, for a moment, let's talk about decision making. So usually when you make decisions, is it from the Rebel or some other place?

Emilie | 26:08

It's from some other place. Yeah.

Vimla | 26:11

What's that place?

Emilie | 26:13

Um, I don't think of myself as primarily the rebel. Like when I, right. I mean, some personalities do. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that's great. We need those people. <laugh>. Yes. I am not usually one of those people <laugh>. Um, I've been following the rules a lot my whole life. And, uh, so it's more of from desire, from desire to, to do the thing.

Vimla | 26:44

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>

Emilie | 26:45

Not feeling like there's external pressure to do so. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and I, I think as I'm naming that out loud, there's a little bit of external pressure, even a almost what I have. Um, you know, it internalized as a little bit of like, competition with my fellow colleagues.

Vimla | 27:06

Yes.

Emilie | 27:07

Right. You know, like, how do I measure up against others and comparison, I think I remember the comparison podcast interview that I think was just a month ago or so. Yes. Um, so that is coming to mind too of like, this comparison can be inspirational and, and helpful and then not so much maybe when the rebel is showing up <laugh> like, no, it doesn't matter because I, I do really, and maybe this is part of that like confidence of, you know, feeling like really good in myself and my skills as they are now. Not to say that they can't continue to change and continue to grow.

Vimla | 27:51

Let's, let's, uh, let's invite the rebel to sort of come sit next to us. Yeah. Uh, I'm hearing it's showing up again. So let's go back to that place where you said you make decisions from desire and not usually from the rebel place. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So let's invite the rebel to come sit. The rebel has a seat at the table, but I also want to know the desire.

Emilie | 28:31

Yeah. I think what's coming through right now for me is a really strong desire to work on my, on building my business. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And even though I could make a perfect case for having additional training as part of building my business, I have been doing a lot of trainings. Yes. And it's like, okay, I think it's time to step back and actually build that, those skills, knowledge, and, and love into my business before I continue to add, um, to it. That's where I'm feeling like I'm at the desire to really grow my business instead of step out of it and put the resources elsewhere. Mm-hmm.

Vimla | 29:13

<affirmative>. So let's say if you were to make a decision from Desire, uh, what would be that decision?

Emilie | 29:26

If I were to make a decision about desire, I wouldn't do it.

Vimla | 29:29

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Emilie | 29:32

Um,

Vimla | 29:33

And what would you do instead?

Emilie | 29:36

I would block out some time that may have been dedicated otherwise to, to towards my business energy, um, particularly time and energy. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah.

Vimla | 29:52

And, um, when you say dedicated towards your business, what does that mean? What would you like tangibly to

Emilie | 29:59

Tangibly, I mean, uh, it's things that I have a list of, you know, the, if when I have time I will redo my website, um, be more attentive and interactive with my clients currently and former clients, um, create meaningful content, um, for example, videos of how to do certain things, things that people come to me asking, how do I do this? And so I can point to something that lives somewhere a meaningful and accessible and helpful. And, um, I've done a little bit of that, but I, I have a good list of things mm-hmm. <affirmative> that I can add to it that I'm, I'm not currently tending to. Yeah. Yeah.

Vimla | 30:47

I'm hearing that you would establish yourself as the authority in what you are currently doing.

Emilie | 30:54

Yeah, and that's exactly what I said to my husband. You know, I wanna be seen as someone a, a resource that people can come to mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, when they have these questions.

Vimla | 31:08

Yeah. And the word authority came up when we talked about the training mm-hmm. <affirmative>, if you did the training, you would be the authority, but I'm hearing that if you worked on it in a different way, you would be the authority.

Emilie | 31:23

Yeah. It's not the only way to be the authority. Yeah. I guess it,

Vimla | 31:29

I,

Emilie | 31:29

Um, it matters who's looking <laugh>, right. Who's, who's looking and for what purpose. Um, and so if it's like my, my manager, it's a different perspective than say some of my clients in some ways. Yeah, yeah. For sure. I hear that and for naming it.

Vimla | 31:50

Sure. Uh, you're welcome. Um, going back to the desire, so the, I'm gonna try and reflect what I'm hearing and you can tell me if this is accurate or not. I'm hearing from a place of desire you want to grow your business, what that means is you want to serve your clients and you want to be a resource or an authority for your clients.

Emilie | 32:22

Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

Vimla | 32:25

And like you said, there's multiple ways you can be that.

Emilie | 32:35

Yeah. Yeah.

Vimla | 32:37

Alright, so let's take a moment and check in with your body. How does it feel?

Emilie | 32:43

It feels good. It feels less, um, or, or it feels more clear. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I think right now, if I were to have to make the decision today, I would say no, I'm not gonna do additional training. Um, you know, at least not right now. And dedicate my energy, time, and resources in a, a different direction that is equally able to grow both my business and my sense of authority on the, the, um, topic. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and then bonus, you know, personal integration, <laugh> around all of it. Yes. Right. Which I think is really important. I feel perhaps adding an additional training, spending that time and energy scatters me a little bit more. And I, I want less scattered more, um, focus is not the word I'm looking for, but just more, uh, wholeness

Vimla | 33:43

Integration.

Emilie | 33:45

Yes. I love that word.

Vimla | 33:47

Yes. So we are almost at our time for coaching. Um, would, would you say this is a good place to end the coaching?

Emilie | 33:59

Yes. Yeah. Thank you so much for your time and for your reflections and naming of, of things that have been in my head mostly. It's really helpful. Really helpful.

Vimla | 34:13

Yes. You're welcome. Um, so you said a few minutes ago that if you were to make a decision just now today, you would say no. I am curious. Would you say that you're close to the decision or you need more exploration or, uh, are there other spaces that are still here between you and the decision?

Emilie | 34:46

I think I'm close. I think part of what helps me feel really strong in a decision is also spending some time outside mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, and not just indoors. So literally changing the view that I have of my eyes while I'm, you know, standing in it. Maybe I even say it out loud outside and see how it feels, you know, if I kind of feel like I wanna take it back, then I know I'm not complete. Yes. Um, but if I say it out loud and it feels strong and my body's upright and confident, then I know that, um, that I'm complete with the decision making process.

Vimla | 35:24

Awesome. So you just gave yourself a little, uh, homework and thank you for sharing the process. So the homework is that you will go outside, say it out loud and check in with your body?

Emilie | 35:37

Yes.

Vimla | 35:38

When will you do it?

Emilie | 35:40

Later this afternoon.

Vimla | 35:42

Awesome. Yeah. That's wonderful. That's exciting.

Emilie | 35:46

Thank you so much, Vimla. I really appreciate this time.

Vimla | 35:49

You're very welcome. Alright, so let's end the coaching with that. And um, if you have a few minutes, is it okay to talk about the coaching process?

Emilie | 36:02

Yes.

Vimla | 36:03

All right. So how is all of that sitting with you?

Emilie | 36:09

I mean, it's sitting very well 'cause I feel a little closer to clarity. Uh, so there's definitely that influence. Um, it's interesting to talk about something that is present for me with someone I just met, like you and I haven't known each other before. Yes. We have a, a mutual contact obviously, and I feel safe and comfortable and it's interesting, I, you know, as a facilitator of not that dissimilar experiences myself, sometimes it's like sometimes the, the anonymity if you will Yes. Is actually helpful. Um, even though I would also argue like some, you know, over time it's nice to have someone that understands and, and gets to know me as well. So it's, it's a little bit of both, but today I got the anonymity and I really, I really enjoyed, um, talking with you and talking about this out loud. I didn't write anything down on paper mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but I am also inspired to maybe write some of these things down that, um, that you named, you helped name for me. So yeah.

Vimla | 37:21

Awesome. Um, anything standing out about the coaching process itself?

Emilie | 37:29

I appreciate it or I do appreciate the way you picked up on my sort of veering off talking about the rebel in the past, which is obviously part of my, uh, thought process and decision making process, but then kind of coming back to like, okay, where, where do we wanna go? You asking me where do we, where do you wanna go? Felt really helpful and it's also something that I think I can take with me and when I'm in a decision question or an inquiry, I can say, well, where do I wanna go? And quite literally like, which way, you know, yes. It doesn't always have to be like a fork in the road. There might be five different choices, but which way do I wanna go down the path? And that, um, I feel like can, can be helpful, um, and will be helpful for me. So thank you for that gift.

Vimla | 38:21

You are very welcome. It's almost like, um, forcing a choice like start, I'm gonna stop here and choose and not let it be on autopilot.

Emilie | 38:32

Yes. Yeah. And not be s standing still. Yes. Either. Yeah. Yes. Moving in some way. Yeah. Yes.

Vimla | 38:42

Awesome. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you so much for getting coached on air for listeners for an audience. I really, really appreciate it. Yeah,

Emilie | 38:52

Thanks Vimla.

Lisa | 39:00

Wow. Uh, that was a session with a lot of twists and turns. It started with this quite simple inquiry and it was really like if or when do I invest in continuing education? So this was Emily's question and Emily's desired outcome for the session. Like what she wanted to leave the session with wasn't actually the decision, but she wanted to become more clear. And what I loved about what you did here, Vimla, was that you actually asked Emilie, like how she'll know she's clear <laugh>, you know, um, sometimes we can think we're clear about, but how do we really know what is the condition of satisfaction? How are we sure. And the way you did that was inviting Emilie to connect with the way that she connects with her intelligence and for her it was her body. Yes. She described how she'll feel in her body and like this description was sort of the check step. Do I feel this way? Yes. Okay, then I'm here. This would indicate that the goals for the session have been met. Yes. And what I love about this is that so many of us just think we're gonna know it's gonna be a feeling and we have this really vague idea of what we want and so we never know when we've arrived at it. Yes. When goals are vague, they can be easy to miss <laugh>.

Vimla | 40:31

Yes. So very true. And I'm glad you brought this up because um, I have to say Emilie was super, super clear. She's very self-aware. She was very clear how she would feel in her body, how she would know. Uh, and I was inspired by that.

Lisa | 40:46

Yeah, me too. I aspire <laugh> to that level of intelligence using this this thing we come to life with. Right. This body, it's not free to maintain, but it came to us free. Yes. So using it the way that Emilie did is something I also aspire to. So yeah, you, you really met the client Emilie in, in this place that she is familiar with and had her create that measurement. And then after that the deep diving began. The deep diving. It just felt like the two of you, uh, wandering around the topic together almost as if you were like walking in labyrinth <laugh>. Right. Circling and getting closer and closer to the, what this thing was. In the process of walking through the rings of the labyrinth, through your questioning, through your reflection of what you were hearing and offering Emilie the option to choose like which direction to take. Um, if she wanted to walk backwards through the labyrinth, she could, if she wanted to do cartwheels through the labyrinth, she could <laugh>. Yes. And in this walk she actually came across a familiar energy within her, which she called her rebel. Yes. And y'all explored that a little bit. And do you wanna say just a little bit more about that?

Vimla | 42:11

Yeah, I distinctly remember Emilie saying that, um, the rebel is showing up and she said she's very familiar with this part of herself and she really doesn't act from this part of herself. So it's almost like she knows herself very well and she already has, um, an intention to let that part be, but not necessarily act from that part.

Lisa | 42:41

Yeah. This piece came up where she wanted to, to choose to act from a different energy. Yes. Which ended up being named the energy of desire. Yes. You helped her explore that energy and where things are going from that direction,

Vimla | 43:01

That direction, the direction that Emilie chose the desire energy. It's almost like there was a pull in that direction. She wanted to be pulled into her next choice or next decision, whereas the rebel energy was pushing her. Mm-hmm. So who knows, maybe she will come to the same decision, uh, either from the rebel or from the desire, but in the desire there was a attitude of going towards something not away from something. And that shift was very powerful to hear in the session.

Lisa | 43:40

Yes. I really enjoyed Vimla, enjoyed listening to the skillful use of some really standard chords, if you will, in the coaching skills instrument. <laugh>, I'll mention a couple of them right now. One was this reflecting back and I think actually even Emilie mentioned how powerful it was to hear what she was saying back at her. Yes. And you know, that reflecting back comes from the ability to listen generously and as often said in the coaching world actively. Yes. There was also this skill of, it's like walking with Emilie next to her and staying with her and inviting her to choose the path down, which you would follow with her. Yes. Um, anything more you wanna say about that?

Vimla | 44:38

I love the metaphor that you just shared, you know, about walking around in the labyrinth and, uh, taking that walk with Emilie. You know, there was a moment when, uh, she talked about, you know, this, this, there is this fork of energy here, uh, where when the rebel showed up, she mentioned that she is, seems to be in a familiar place. And um, it was almost like we were standing at a fork and she was seeing this path show up and we paused and uh, we talked about do you want to go down this path or do you want to go down a different path? And she chose the path of um, actually going to, towards making a choice, making a decision, becoming more clearer, uh, about the decision she's faced within the present moment. It was beautiful to sort of witness that. So in some ways, you know, we were walking together, we came upon of work and there was a little bit of, um, familiar autopilot happening and we passed and we were like, do you wanna go down the autopilot road road? Or she was a different route that might be more important in the present moment. And she chose the present moment. It was almost like forcing a choice upon her <laugh>.

Lisa | 46:05

Yeah. And, and for those of you who tune into the energies, if you can really begin to feel the powerful energy that comes up when that choice is made. And you know, again, if we boil this whole session down to its simplest forms, there's a lot of different simple forms we could say. But one of them is the session is about making a decision. The outcome wasn't the decision, the outcome was clarity. <laugh>. Yes.

Vimla | 46:39

I think the session was more about the process of making a decision or choosing the energy from which you make the decision or make the choice. It was wonderful, it was beautiful. I was inspired by my client.

Lisa | 46:52

Yes. I think we've mentioned this in a couple of episodes that this sometimes happens. Yes. Yeah. It's, it's the, the hidden gift, uh, all in all seems like a really powerful session that occurs in under an hour.

Vimla | 47:06

Yes. Yes.

Lisa | 47:07

Thanks to Emilie for, for trusting us with her topic. Yes. And being coached by you Vimla.

Vimla | 47:14

It was amazing. It was a wonderful session. Alright. Um, so as we promised in the intro, if folks would like to work with us, you have a couple of options. You could be a guest on our podcast for a one-time on air session. If being on air isn't your thing, you can inquire about joining one of our practices as a client when we are accepting new clients. The way to do this would be to click on the links in the show notes and uh, get in touch with us.

Lisa | 47:45

Yes. And we have a request for you. It is always hard to ask you to pause, um, but if you could pause and leave us a review wherever you listen to your podcast, it helps other people find us and helps spread the coaching love.

Vimla | 48:04

Yeah, we'd appreciate that. Stay tuned for another powerful coaching session in our next episode.

Lisa | 48:12

And feel free to follow us on Instagram where we are actually talking about the topic of Pause.