Episode 18: What flavor is *YOUR* pie in the sky?

In episode 18 our client Ammarah arrives to her first-ever coaching session completely open to whatever the process might uncover for her and no defined topic. 

In this episode you'll hear this deeply thoughtful, fast paced, dynamic tech professional begin the session with nothing clear in mind and leave the session with an actual drawing of a BIG, audacious goal. A goal that is a deeply resonant portrait of a 'pie in the sky' dream she holds AND some concrete steps to walk toward it.

This session investigates what really matters to Ammarah. It happens  fluidly. Like a playful invitation to resonance, energy and vitality. She dives into the impact she wants to have in her work and life; the social causes and communities, and what she wants for herself. 

If you feel like there is something inside you that you don't have the language for but an energy is calling you - you may be inspired by the way this session brings language and the client's own images to life via the coaching process.

#dreambig #lifegoals #values #coaching #newtocoaching

Get to know Ammarah Ahmed on LinkedIn or Growth Mentor  

If you would like to sample coaching for yourSelf, CONTACT US.

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Chapters

• 4:36 Coaching with Ammarah begins
• 5:39 Brief designed alliance created between coach & client
• 7:06 Topic exploration
• 11:23 What's a pie in the sky dream?

Transcript

Vimla | 00:01

Hello and welcome to Coaching Confidential, a podcast hosted by Lisa DiMatteo and myself, Vimla Gulabani. We are ICF-certified professional coaches. In each episode, we invite you inside a real live un unscripted coaching session, and at the end of the session, you hear directly from the client about the impact that the coaching had on them, and we also talk a little bit about the specific coaching skills that they coach used today. We also want to share with you our passion for coaching and how we can support you on your journey.

Lisa | 00:38

That's right. Whether you're an aspiring coach or someone who's just interpersonal growth, we are here to walk alongside you every step of the way. So if you've enjoyed our podcast and you're wanting more, or you're just discovering us and you'd like to work with us, we're here for you.

Vimla | 00:57

Yes. So coaching has the power to ignite transformation. You know, usually the coaching process starts with self-awareness, and it could potentially, more often than not, it leads to self-determination. You feel empowered, you get empowered to shape your own path, both metaphorically and literally, and reach your goals.

Lisa | 01:17

Yes. And if you've listened to the podcast up till this point, you've probably heard that with some of the previous clients that we've worked with. It also makes me think it'd be nice to revisit some of our clients and, and hear how things turned out. In any case, we're about to air an episode with our client Ammarah, and one of the things you might notice about this episode is that this session provided Ammarah an opportunity to do something that she wouldn't necessarily be inclined to do on her own. And I'd like to provide a real life example of this. The other day I was at a physical therapy appointment and I was in this facility that it took me 20 or 25 minutes to get to from my house doing things that I could have been doing at my house by myself without having to drive there.

Lisa | 02:08

Yet I wasn't doing them <laugh>. And so the physical therapy appointment provided me a container to do the things that I wasn't motivated to do on my own. It also provided me with a person who was right next to me, coaching me on how I was doing them and how I might do them differently, or how I might think differently about the process, which really opened up so much for me. So all of this to say is, is that sometimes coaching provides us the space and, um, the motivation to do something that we wouldn't do on our own, and an opportunity to do this with somebody who is going to hold much more expansive space for us around it. And that's really what happens in this upcoming episode. Vimla, you are the coach. What would you like to add here about this?

Vimla | 03:10

Yeah, I love the word expansive. Yes, it was, uh, expansive session. What really is happening in the session is, um, I'm holding a big huge space and inviting my client to expand, to dream and to dream bigger and bigger. Like you said, she can dream without me. She can dream anytime, and yet it makes a difference when there is somebody there to listen to your dreams or to witness your dream. Um, so that's what's happening in this episode. There's an invitation to dream big.

Lisa | 03:49

Yes. So without further ado, here's the episode. We'll hear you on the other side to talk about the skills and the impact of the coaching.

Vimla | 04:02

Welcome, Ammarah, welcome to the podcast. How are you doing today?

Speaker 3 | 04:07

Hi, Vimla. I'm really good. How are you?

Vimla | 04:09

I'm doing well. So before we begin, uh, Ammarah, would you like to introduce yourself to our listeners?

Speaker 3 | 04:16

Absolutely. My name's Ammarah. I'm originally from Pakistan. Uh, I work in the tech industry and I've generally been involved with the startups and tech, um, from the business performance and product side for about eight years now. Uh, and on in times when I'm not spending on meetings and at work, I generally like to, um, help out. So I mentor on growth mentor and um, other platforms. Um, and I engage with like people from around the world over there.

Vimla | 04:51

Exciting you. You're very busy.

Speaker 3 | 04:55

Yeah. <laugh>. Yeah. Awesome.

Vimla | 04:58

So thank you for taking the time to, you know, be on our podcast.

Speaker 3 | 05:02

Absolutely. I know, I'm, I'm excited for this.

Vimla | 05:04

So, Ammarah, have you been coached before?

Speaker 3 | 05:06

No.

Vimla | 05:08

Is it okay if I say a little bit about coaching?

Speaker 3 | 05:10

Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Vimla | 05:12

Coaching works on the premise that you are the expert in your life. You know, everything there is to know about you, your goals, your dreams, your desires, and you know how to get there. Sometimes it may not be clear how you're gonna get there, but through a coaching process, a coaching conversation, that might become clearer and, um, there will be answers, but the answers will come from you during the process. Okay. So I bring the questions and you bring the answers about you. Okay.

Speaker 3 | 05:47

Okay.

Vimla | 05:48

Do you have any questions, concerns?

Speaker 3 | 05:53

No, no, I think it should be interesting.

Vimla | 05:57

Awesome. Thank you for having that open mind. Yeah. <laugh>, the other thing, uh, is that coaching is confidential, but since we are recording this for a podcast, it's not gonna be entirely confidential. So please hold that in mind when we are exploring and if you don't want to share something with the wider world, you can sort of pause or, you know, redirect or redirect me or redirect the conversation as necessary. Sure,

Speaker 3 | 06:27

Sure. Sounds good.

Vimla | 06:28

So, Ammarah, do we have a topic today?

Speaker 3 | 06:31

We do not. Wait. So I came a little too open to this session, and so we do not have a topic, but maybe we can sort of figure our way out with your help.

Vimla | 06:46

Awesome. Sounds good. I like to say that, you know, when you don't have a topic are the best coaching sessions <laugh>, because you know, in those moments is when we have the space to sort of dig deeper into what's present in this moment or what's present under the deeper layers. Sometimes those are the moments when you can dig deeper into your dreams and desires. So shall we go to the dreams and desires?

Speaker 3 | 07:20

Sure.

Vimla | 07:20

Awesome. So if you were to sort of, um, name, what's your pie in the sky for the next few years?

Speaker 3 | 07:31

Hmm. I think it would be giving myself a little bit more control over my time and how I choose to spend it. Um, kind of buying back my time from everything. I think that is something that I wanna kind of work towards over the next couple of years.

Vimla | 07:58

Hmm. So let's say we are in, uh, two years from today mm-hmm. <affirmative>, what would, what does it mean? What would it look like? Let's say you have been successful in buying back your time. What does that look like?

Speaker 3 | 08:13

It would mean a lot more travel, but not for work as it is now. Um, it would also mean that my days would not start at 10. I'm not a very morning person. Um, so I prefer to kind of, you know, be able to have that flexibility in terms of the hours I'm working on. Um, and I think from a work perspective, I'm not the kind of person who would, uh, be able to sit still for too long. I'm a, I'm a very restless, lazy person to kind of like put it in one of the words. Um, so I think it would be a lot more, you know, project-based roles where I still get to engage myself and, you know, use my brain and sort of solve these puzzles. Uh, but I have the flexibility in terms of what projects I want to engage with, as well as the times that I want to operate on. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>,

Vimla | 09:12

It's almost sounds like you would be taking full ownership of your time and your project.

Speaker 3 | 09:18

Yes. Yeah. Ideal situation.

Vimla | 09:21

Awesome. So would you say that's a topic ownership of your time?

Speaker 3 | 09:28

Um, to be honest, not so much because for that I have a fairly clear, um, idea of how to do it and certain milestones and I'm, I'm kind of like on in the progress of getting myself there. So there's not a lot of, um, confusion that I would have on that topic. Um, so yeah, I think, I think in order for this to be like truly interesting for both of us, I, I would think this is like a boring topic to kind of get into.

Vimla | 10:06

Okay. So let me offer, um, reflection back Sure. Yeah. Of what I heard. Yeah. So I heard that your pie in the sky dream is, uh, taking back your time in two years. Yeah. And what that would look like is you are traveling, but you're not traveling for work, you are working using your brain productively and not in, um, pressure kind of a way, but more free. Yeah,

Speaker 3 | 10:34

Less corporate.

Vimla | 10:35

Less corporate.

Speaker 3 | 10:36

Yeah.

Vimla | 10:37

Yeah. More project oriented. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, and you also are saying that you have a path towards that mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 | 10:47

<affirmative>,

Vimla | 10:47

Maybe that's not the buy in the sky dream. Maybe there is a different pie in the sky dream.

Speaker 3 | 10:54

Give me an example of how you would define a pie in the sky dream. Like what are the attributes?

Vimla | 10:59

Um, when I say pie in the sky, I am thinking the dream that'll bring you boundless joy or happiness, like your life purpose or, uh, your legacy or, uh, your story,

Speaker 3 | 11:20

I think. Okay. So then here's the thing. I think how I would go about it is my current full, full-time day job would kind of get replaced with this, you know, project based, um, activity. But in terms of what I want to do with the time I win back is I want to be involved a lot more in social endeavors. Um, I feel like that's in the past whenever I've worked on those, that's something that's left me with a much better sense of purpose and value edition. So yeah, I think I would want to kind of, um, redirect my time and, and figure out a way to add better value in that sector.

Vimla | 12:15

Mm-hmm. <affirmative> specifically, what does that look like?

Speaker 3 | 12:24

Um, so I work with mentoring a lot. Uh, I've worked with mentoring all sorts of people. Um, so I spent a lot of time with underprivileged kids in, um, you know, small towns, um, and schools. Then I've also spent a lot of time in like, very business scenarios with like founders and entrepreneurs. Um, I think from a, from a personal perspective, I would enjoy the mentoring, um, that I do with, with the underprivileged kids, but then also kind of figuring out a more systematic way, a more scalable way. So, um, the way that I look at businesses today in terms of health and performance, I'm able to kind of exactly figure out, you know, what are the resources, what are the best ways to put forth in house, how can we drive like the most value? Um, and I think I would want to take all of that, but put it in a more helpful manner. So something, um, working with, uh, you know, different NGOs in terms of everything, what their, what their product funnel looks like on, on site, um, to what their, you know, p and l health looks like and what's the scope over there. Um, basically use all of these like number kind of things that I've, you know, gotten really good at, but again, in a norm non like, corporate way, in a way that actually has a bigger social impact.

Vimla | 14:15

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Wow, that's huge. That's big.

Speaker 3 | 14:21

Yeah. That's a huge pie in the sky.

Vimla | 14:25

Yes. That is a pie in the sky. Um, you ha do you have a piece of paper and pen?

Speaker 3 | 14:32

I do, yes. Always.

Vimla | 14:35

Could you draw it?

Speaker 3 | 14:39

What would you like? The, the, the pie itself?

Vimla | 14:42

Yes. This dream of yours. Like what is it? Oh, how would you capture it on paper?

Speaker 3 | 14:50

See, this is why, why I went to business school and my sister went to art school. Cause I have zero art capability.

Vimla | 14:57

You don't have to, this is just for you.

Speaker 3 | 15:00

Okay. Um, okay. Uh, let me see this. Okay. I've kind of like scribbled a couple of things that come to my mind in terms of like visualizing this.

Vimla | 15:31

Yes. Could you read it to me?

Speaker 3 | 15:36

Um, yeah, sure. Okay. So I think it's, um, there's like sign wide drew, like signboards like education, um, and, you know, uh, I have like a little trophy for like beating our fundraising records mm-hmm. For like an NGO or something. Um, and I have like this business award, um, for like innovation and stuff, but it's not to like Apple or Facebook, it's, it's to like, you know, some, some big NGO that's actually been able to do something good. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Those are the three things I have so far. Awesome. And I have, I have a little very simple desk and chair with a nice window in front of it.

Vimla | 16:32

Nice. So would you say, um, getting to this place is one of your dreams?

Speaker 3 | 16:42

Yeah.

Vimla | 16:43

Yeah. And what's the path to that place?

Speaker 3 | 16:50

I have no idea. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>,

Vimla | 16:54

Um, how would you describe this place?

Speaker 3 | 17:04

I think it's, um, I think it's one of those, like, have you seen like a couple of those pictures where it's like a very treacherous, um, very tall long hike up the stairs. And a lot of these pads have actually now been closed because of security reasons in like Hawaii and places like that. When you get to the top, it's beautiful. But like the actual getting there, there's a lot of things in terms of endurance, security, um, simple training for being, you know, being able to climb those. That's kind of how I see it. Like the view from the top is beautiful. It's u you know, it's, it's utopia. But, um, I think there's getting there, it requires a lot of work and endurance. And I mean that from both a physical as well as mental perspective, I think. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> when, you know, we sit in our privileged households in our comfy couch and kind of look at that, it's, it's great.

Speaker 3 | 18:13

Um, when you actually go on ground and start having conversations with these people, it's a very different experience. Yes. Um, you know, I've, I've come back from certain sessions, um, in, in schools with kids where I've then just sat with myself for two days thinking about all the privilege, all the simple acts of privilege that, you know, I take for granted and, and the sense of responsibility that this 80 year old girl feels and kind of does. And I think when I say endurance, what I mean is you feel that pain, but you don't let it overpower you. And I think there's a certain level of exercise and strength that you need to build into yourself where you can kind of channel it in a positive light and use the resources that you have available to yourself to kind of bring about change without letting it weigh you down completely. Because then that kind of renders the entire thing pointless.

Vimla | 19:15

Yes, absolutely. You just described to me what you mean by endurance. Yeah. So would you say the path to that dream that's on the paper is endurance, security and, um, skill building of sorts?

Speaker 3 | 19:38

Yeah. Yeah, I think that would be, yeah, I think that would be a good way to put it.

Vimla | 19:45

So you did just describe endurance? Yeah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So similarly, what does security mean to you?

Speaker 3 | 19:54

I think for me it's more like, um, you know, how would I put security? It's just a sense of safety, um, from a, both a financial and a social perspective mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I think that there's a handful of people around me, you know, uh, including my family and I, I feel very close knit with them. So for me, safety means that my security bubble is being able to sort of cover that area too. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, my actions shouldn't have any negative repercussions in that little dome. Um, so for me that, that would be security.

Vimla | 20:46

All right. So on the paper you have the path is endurance security. Endurance is, you know, stability within yourself in the face of mm-hmm. All the things that you may witness. Uh, security is social security and financial security so that you don't lose your stability in different ways. Like your physical, societal, emotional, all kinds of stabilities. Um, what are the skills?

Speaker 3 | 21:24

I think the skills would be working on mental strength in terms of compartmentalization, um, in terms of the level of control, you know, you let your emotions have on you. So like, is it kind of running your entire body or are you able to kind of add a little bit of head to that heart, you know? Um, and I think that balance is something that's, that's very tricky and we all kind of, uh, you know, um, have trouble with getting, so from a skill perspective, I think those two would be the key ones that I would kind of work, kind of wanna work on.

Vimla | 22:12

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, how would you work on those?

Speaker 3 | 22:17

Um, I think in two parts. Um, one is to kind of prepare yourself to all of like the different opinions in realities around you. And I find books a great way to do that. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, you know, it, it just kind of opens your brain to a lot of different perspectives, a lot of different lives, cultures, um, and the reason I say books is because it's, it's a lot more easier to sort of engage with them with regards to like, you know, your current life. You don't really need to like go and travel, be in certain places. It's a good way to kind of keep doing that on the side regardless of what you're doing. Um, and the second would be then kind of working with, uh, uh, with a, with a therapist. So, you know, kind of taking all that in and then kind of seeing how that relates to my life and how, where those skill sets are today and, and what are like, sort of the gaps and kind of working on that to make sure that there's a certain level of strength in those skills before I, you know, embark on that journey.

Speaker 3 | 23:35

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Vimla | 23:36

So I'm hearing a lot of learning exploration and, uh, talking to different people who may be able to offer, um, um, uh, like, you know, solidifying those skills. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So what are the skills, if you were to name top three skills?

Speaker 3 | 24:06

I would say objectivity. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, maintaining a sense of objectivity is very important. Um, social skills in terms of interaction, uh, not my strongest suit. I have difficulty interacting with people, especially like new people. So I think getting that. Um, and then also, um, confidence in terms of engaging in new situations or scenarios. So again, um, physically going to a new place on my own, um, is usually something that's like very anxiety inducing. So I think kind of working on that and getting that skill of being able to do that more confidently would, would definitely be helpful. Mm-hmm.

Vimla | 25:01

<affirmative>, so the skills would be objectivity, um,

Speaker 3 | 25:09

Yeah,

Vimla | 25:10

Objectivity, confidence. And I forget what you said for the other one. Um,

Speaker 3 | 25:19

Social interaction.

Vimla | 25:21

Yes. Social interaction.

Speaker 3 | 25:24

Yeah.

Vimla | 25:25

Um, I see you're taking notes,

Speaker 3 | 25:28

<laugh>. Oh yeah.

Vimla | 25:30

That's perfect. Um, so if you were, if you were to, um, sort of, um, uh, you know, name how you would acquire those skills, what you said, one of the things was learning and reading. Do you have books top of mind?

Speaker 3 | 25:53

Um, not anything straight off the top of my head, to be honest. I, uh, I think it's more like when I'm, when I identify a particular topic that I'm interested with and I'll then I'll just go out and look for like, a bunch of books and then I'll just run through that and then it's like a different topic and all over that. So it's, uh, not something I have particularly in mind, like a mm-hmm. <affirmative> set reading list. Um, I think what's, uh, what I do more often is just kind of, uh, consciously go in with this mindset when I'm reading books to kind of see whatever it is I can take away mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, irrespective of whether it's linked to the topic that I'm kind of like diving into right now or not. Um, so yeah, that's, for me, that's like the best way to kind of, you know, uh, take value out of it.

Vimla | 26:53

Awesome. So you almost gave yourself homework Okay. To create that, uh, you know, that reading list or exploration around these three skills, which is, uh, objectivity, social interaction and confidence. Yeah. Uh, would you like to take that on as an action?

Speaker 3 | 27:16

Yeah. Yeah. That should be

Vimla | 27:18

Interesting to, to create that reading list.

Speaker 3 | 27:21

Yeah.

Vimla | 27:22

Awesome. Um, so we are almost, um, at a place where we can end the coaching. Um, so I'm just gonna try and summarize what we did just now. Uh, we started exploring a topic and dreams and goals and, uh, we went to the pie in the sky. Um, the first one was not as big as, um, you thought you already had that in your back pocket. Yeah. Uh, so then we explored the bigger dream, the bigger than everything dream. Uh, you did not use this word essentially for the dream, but you almost, when you were ex, you know, when you were describing your metaphor, you used the word you utopia. So it's almost like this dream is your utopia.

Speaker 3 | 28:18

Yeah, it is.

Vimla | 28:20

And we talked a little bit about how you can get there. Uh, so there seemed to be three steps and, uh, we talked a little bit about what those steps look like, me mean, and feel like, and, uh, and you have, uh, action coming up. Yeah,

Speaker 3 | 28:40

I do.

Vimla | 28:41

Yeah. <laugh>, um, what are you taking away? What's standing out to you?

Speaker 3 | 28:50

Um, I think generally like the, the structure of our conversation in terms of, um, the way we kind of defined something and then broke it down and then kind of like created that little physical journey and like end spot in mind. Um, for me that's, that's an interesting tool to kind of use every time I'm coming up with a different milestone. Um, and I generally don't do very well with like, vague instructions, so the visualizing aspect of it, um, helps solidify it a bit more. So I can kind of figure out a, on a map, like, okay, this is point, be disappointed. Now I can just like chart that course. Um, so for me, for me, that technique in itself is actually something that I think is, is quite useful.

Vimla | 29:46

Awesome. So you're taking away the coaching process, <laugh>,

Speaker 3 | 29:49

Yeah.

Vimla | 29:50

One, one skill of the coaching process Yes. To sort of break things down, visualize things. Yeah.

Speaker 3 | 29:56

In addition to my reading list

Vimla | 29:59

In addition to, yes. Yeah. Awesome. Um, is this a good place to stop coaching?

Speaker 3 | 30:07

Yeah, I think, I think we've, uh, we've got a good chunk for ourself.

Vimla | 30:16

So Ammarah, what was that experience like for you?

Speaker 3 | 30:21

It was, it was very interesting. Um,

Speaker 3 | 30:25

I, to be honest, didn't have like any expectations when I was coming in. Like, like, you know, we discussed, it was very like, okay, this, this new experience, not sure how it's gonna go. Let's just kind of go into it. Um, it was, it was very interesting. Um, and I think like when we were kind of working through these things in my head I was like, kind of like wandering a bit, trying to figure out, you know, the answers to some of the questions, uh, you had posed. And, um, but I think that the, the kind of little, um, hints or tools you like were passing me on in between, in terms of breaking it down or in terms of like drawing something out, um, that kind of was like my little fog light in it, which like kind of helped clear out the way. Um, so yeah, I think it, this, uh, this was pretty interesting and, um, I, I quite liked the overall experience.

Vimla | 31:23

Awesome. Thank you for, um, sharing that. Um, uh, do you notice anything different in your being or in your body?

Speaker 3 | 31:37

Um, not that I can tell right now. Probably once I've like sat with it, it'll, it'll be a bit more apparent.

Vimla | 31:46

Awesome. Anything else before we end for today?

Speaker 3 | 31:52

No. This, this has been, uh, brilliant. I, it's, it's been really nice chatting with you. This, um, you know, thank you for having me on board and, uh, thank you for like, the chat. It was, it was really nice.

Vimla | 32:06

You're welcome. And I have to sort of, uh, recognize and acknowledge that, uh, even though this was a new experience for you, you went right in. That takes a little bit of, um, you know, courage, a little bit of, I'm gonna play mindset, so thank you for playing.

Speaker 3 | 32:26

Yeah, absolutely. It, it's, it's been great.

Ammarah | 32:31

Awesome. So,

Lisa | 32:36

Vimla, that was a really inspiring session, this piece that we talked about earlier, holding space for the pie in the sky dream. It's not something that we often allow ourselves and um, because we're locked into the four walls of our own mind, and oftentimes we are being too realistic and not invited to think bigger. But wow. When we do, is it interesting?

Vimla | 33:07

Yes, it's interesting, it's fascinating and it's inspiring. I have to say that I was super, super inspired by Ammarah and, um, maybe we'll talk about this in one of our other episodes, but, um, often in a coaching session, even though I am the coach, I am inspired by my clients all the time.

Lisa | 33:29

Yes, yes. This is so true. And this is where our coaching skills are really important to lean on, right? Because we are holding a very specific container for that client. So we've talked about the skill of self-management, we're not going to get into that skill today, but there are two skills that we will focus on that we're very present in the session. The first one I'll name as active listening, would you highlight for listeners Vimla how that active listening was coming through you as the coach in this session?

Vimla | 34:04

Absolutely. So I think what I was intentionally doing in the session was reflecting back to Ammarah, what I was hearing her say. I was trying to repeat in her words what I heard and inviting her to build on that. Um, so that's a very straightforward example of active listening, <laugh> reflecting back what you are hearing and inviting the other person to correct you if you didn't hear accurately. So that was going on throughout the session.

Lisa | 34:40

Yes, totally, totally hear that. And you know, isn't it funny how when we say things out loud ourselves, right? We don't often do that, but when we do, we don't even hear what we already know. Yes. It's like when it comes from us, there is kind of like a, I don't know, a distortion on it and we're not able to really hear what we've said, but when somebody else reflects it back to us and sometimes in coaching, we, we reflect it back in different packaging. Yes. Uh, just really to get the client to see this and hear this in a different way. But yes, you, it was beautiful the way you were showing Ammarah what was already in her, you know, like on a platter in front of her <laugh>. Yes. And then you were like, and what else can we put on the platter? Yes. What else can be here? Right? Yeah. So that active listening was like a very apparent skill and highly impactful in the session. She was really responding to this.

Vimla | 35:46

Yes. Yes, she was. And um, the second skill that you almost just named was the, what else is possible here? That's the evoking awareness, inviting the client to look at what's here on the platter and asking them what can be added, what can be there, what can be subtracted, what's present, what can come in the future. Um, so a lot of that was going on.

Lisa | 36:18

Yes. Yes. I love that terminology that you used in the session. The, what's your pie in the sky? Yeah. This isn't something that we will often ask ourselves. Yeah. Because we're trapped in the four walls of our own possibility and influenced by what only we can imagine. And by our beliefs, conscious or unconscious beliefs. And when there's somebody else holding the space with us and holding the space, being when there's coachy terminology for when there's somebody else with us and really asking us and probing us and providing inspiration for us to go there, it's almost like we value it more highly and the fires get stoked and the possibility arises in the space.

Vimla | 37:15

Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Yes. I also want to underscore that one of the things that was happening in the session as a result of the coaching process and these coaching skills was, um, my clients was thinking expansively when my client defined her pie in the sky dream. She was almost, um, in awe of her own dream. And, uh, it seemed like a really far away dream. But then when we talked about it, how it made her feel, what does she see? If she can put it down on paper, draw it out, um, describe it more. She actually identified how she can get there. She identified a path to her pie in the sky dream.

Lisa | 38:13

Yeah. It's sort of like you're inviting somebody to imagine this destination that might be a cross country trip or even an across the world trip, and they're not quite sure that they're going to be able to move themselves from point A to point B, but the way in which you helped the client really sink into what they were saying and really connect it to her values. Yes. Connecting all these dots, it makes the vision real. And by the end of the session, she had gas in the tank ready to go. The car was warmed up. Yes. And she was ready to roll out of the driveway. <laugh> Yes. And head out on the journey.

Vimla | 39:05

Yes. That's such a beautiful metaphor. <laugh>. Thanks Lisa. I love your metaphors.

Lisa | 39:10

<laugh>. So we have active listening, uh, and evokes awareness as two of the I c f core competencies that were really critical to this particular coaching session.

Vimla | 39:28

Yes. And um, I also wanna put a plug here for inviting our listeners to practice active listening in their own lives. So in the middle of a conversation, maybe occasionally pause and reflect back what's coming through to make sure that everybody's on the same page for the accuracy of the communication.

Lisa | 39:54

Yes. I imagine that doing that in some instances will really be appreciated by the other person or the other people, and maybe even surprising. But if you're not quite sure how to approach this and you'd like some coaching around that, we'll come back to our invitation at the beginning of the episode, which is that we are here to work with you. So if you are interested, if you've heard our podcast, um, and you've been curious about how you might get some of what you're hearing <laugh> or if you've never heard us and you're hearing us for the first time and you're either a coach in training and you're wanting some early mentoring or supervision, or you are just a person who is interested in improving on your communication skills or reaching a goal, reach out to us. There are links in our show notes.

Vimla | 40:49

Yes. All right. So what's happening in the next episode,

Lisa | 40:53

<laugh>? That's an excellent question. What is happening in the next episode, <laugh>?

Vimla | 40:59

So in the next episode we bring, um, we will bring to you another coaching session, and uh, at this point we don't want to reveal too much about the coaching session because we don't know that yet ourselves.

Lisa | 41:12

<laugh>. Yes. This is, uh, what you just heard is a coaching skill that one particular school of coaching calls dancing in the moment. <laugh>, in other words, being real with like, I don't know, and passing the ball. What do you know? Well, I don't really know either. <laugh>.

Vimla | 41:34

Yes. Well, but we know that it's gonna be a coaching session.

Speaker 4 | 41:38

Yes, that's true.