Episode 16: Are you parenting intentionally?

In this episode, Vimla coaches Zarrina. The session starts out one place but through the skillful, gentle invitation to get into action *on the spot*, lands in another place.

This session explores parenting, desire to be different, experimentation in the moment, and ends with a realization on the clients behalf that the coach isn't actually privy to.

We will explore the skills Vimla as the coach embodied including; self management, inviting action as experimentation, deep presence & connection,  and evoking awareness.

• If you are a parent, you may want to hear to hear this.
• If you are a coach, you may be inspired by this.
• If you are curious about coaching, you will learn how little time and information a coach needs to bring a client where they want to be by the end of a session.

Zarrina Allieva is co-active coach & podcaster. Her podcast is called Beyond One Lens. You can follow this podcast on instagram.

#parenting #change #compassion #reconnecting #kids #children #relationship #experimentation #action #presence #realization #exploration #deeplistening 

If you would like to sample coaching for yourSelf, CONTACT US.

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Transcript

Vimla | 00:01

Hello and welcome to Coaching Confidential, a podcast hosted by ICF-certified professional coaches Lisa DiMatteo, and myself, Vimla Gulabani. In this podcast, we bring you inside a real live unscripted coaching session, and at the end of the coaching session, you hear from the client about the impact of the coaching, and you hear about the skills that the coach used. So Lisa, what's this episode about?

Lisa | 00:28

So this episode with Zarrina is really interesting. In this episode, it appears that the topic of the session, or the goal of the session is that the client find a way to be different in the relationship she keeps with her kids. And if we think that that's all this episode is about, we might be missing something <laugh>. So maybe I'll just leave it there and let the listeners decide and we'll talk about it on the other side.

Vimla | 01:01

Zarrina, welcome, welcome to our podcast. Before we get into coaching, uh, would you like to please introduce yourself to our listeners? Hmm,

Zarrina | 01:10

Thank you Vimla. Uh, my name is Zarrina. I live in Sweden and I'm a coach as well.

Vimla | 01:15

Wonderful. Hmm. So Zarrina, I believe that you have a topic and before we go into that, I would also like to say that this is gonna be on a podcast, so it's not gonna be completely confidential. You know how we say coaching sessions are confidential, but this is not entirely confidential.

Zarrina | 01:36

You have my permission to record and publish it and me being a podcaster myself. So I I'm super grateful that you are reminding me that part as well. Thank you.

Vimla | 01:46

Awesome. Alright, let's get started. What's your topic today?

Zarrina | 01:53

Ah, I have a very interesting topic actually, and I hopefully a lot of other people can learn and it's not only me, but learning from this, uh, coaching session today, uh, I have four children, two bonus children, and two of my own. And they're all teenagers. And I see, and, and I feel me, as a pairing transform and growing now, especially coming to the coaching sphere, I become even more self-aware about a lot of things and I start recognizing it's actually my way of being impact my children. So that authority that I have been in the past, I don't want to be that authority anymore. I want to be a speaking partner on the same terms with my teenagers and I don't know how. And you know, it's like in some certain situation I feel like I'm stand standing naked cuz I dunno what is, how to be in that new position as a parent. Hmm. Where to give and take responsibility in terms of, in correct say that people are naturally creative, resourceful and whole and we really mean each and every individual. Uh, but how to combine that statements with parenting, I find it challenging.

Vimla | 03:23

<laugh>. Yeah. So I'm gonna try and reflect back what I heard.

Zarrina | 03:27

Please.

Vimla | 03:28

Uh, it's seems to me that you would like to change your relationship with your kids.

Zarrina | 03:34

Correct.

Vimla | 03:35

Okay. It has been one way so far. And you would like to shift it to be a newer relationship or a different relationship.

Zarrina | 03:44

Hmm. To be more proactive, let's say. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So involve them into much more into the decision. And I, I think what I was would really appreciate if in the end of the session I would have a tool, a trigger something with me that helped me to kind of, when I'm off track, to come back on track again.

Vimla | 04:07

Mm.

Zarrina | 04:07

Mm-hmm. <affirmative> of my new way of being with children. Mm-hmm.

Vimla | 04:11

<affirmative>. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. That's very interesting. So what I'm also hearing is that you already know how, how you're gonna be like the new way, you know, the new way.

Zarrina | 04:21

Not really. I know <laugh>. Good question. I dunno the exactly details. And this is what maybe I would love us to explore the, during the coaching session, who I would like to be. The one thing I know I don't want to be that authority and I want, uh, I think one thing is another thing that I know for sure as well. I don't want to hold accountability cause this is what I was doing all the time before and I don't think it served either them or me any longer.

Vimla | 04:59

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. All right. Um, your relationship is changing. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you would like it to change, you're trying to define who you want to be. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> in this newer relationship. Mm-hmm.

Zarrina | 05:12

<affirmative>.

Vimla | 05:13

And one of the outcomes that you would like is, um, a tool to become aware of when you are not in the new relationship. And the other thing, other outcome of this coaching session would be to define the new relationship.

Zarrina | 05:31

Correct. I think you summarized it really well now.

Vimla | 05:35

Hmm. Awesome. So where should we start defining the new one or finding the awareness?

Zarrina | 05:45

I think maybe, uh, a awareness part.

Vimla | 05:50

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Zarrina | 05:51

Hmm.

Vimla | 05:52

All right. So when you say a tool for becoming aware of when you are not in the new relationship mm-hmm. <affirmative>, what does that tool look like for you?

Zarrina | 06:05

That part I have no idea. It's could be any trigger and I dunno, it could be posture, it could be, uh, uh, I dunno, putting bracelet from one hand to another one. It's some physical action that will remind me that that will bring me back from one state to another one. Mm. State of being. Mm.

Vimla | 06:28

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you use the word trigger. So would trigger be the tool that reminds you that you are not in the new version?

Zarrina | 06:41

I think what trigger will do's help will help me switch back to where I would like to be. Mm-hmm.

Vimla | 06:47

<affirmative>? Mm-hmm.

Zarrina | 06:48

<affirmative>,

Vimla | 06:49

You brought in bracelet, so mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Tell me more.

Zarrina | 06:53

Uh, I think what, what I need some, some kind of physical evidence of the action. That's why I'm thinking about the bracelet. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Vimla | 07:03

So bracelet in your left hand is the new relationship bracelet in your right hand is the

Zarrina | 07:11

Well, I think it could be the very good metaphor. Yeah. Yeah. The way of doing it, absolutely. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Vimla | 07:19

And, um, when would you transfer the bracelets from one hand to the other?

Zarrina | 07:30

I think I will do that when I am in the moment of insight to, I'm realizing I'm in my old behavior. Mm-hmm.

Vimla | 07:43

<affirmative>. Alright. Do you have a bracelet?

Zarrina | 07:47

Not yet.

Vimla | 07:48

<laugh>. Alright. Is there, um, is there one like you can make, maybe if you have paper or something, you can draw the bracelet?

Zarrina | 07:57

Hmm. You mean right now straight away? Yes. Okay. Uh, I can, I can take, I can take something that's, that will help me. Okay. Just to physically show it so I can actually move it. Yeah. Yeah.

Vimla | 08:16

Awesome. So where, where is the bracelet now? In your right hand or left hand?

Zarrina | 08:21

The right one.

Vimla | 08:23

Okay. So it's in the right hand. And this is Nuk?

Zarrina | 08:28

Uh, no, it's the old me.

Vimla | 08:30

Okay. So the right one is the old mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Zarrina | 08:34

I take my watch instead.

Vimla | 08:35

Define, define to me what is the old relationship?

Zarrina | 08:42

The old relationship is would be authority, control. Um, it's all where my old saboteurs are triggered. My saboteurs is a rest. My, my biggest saboteur are a restless controller. Mm. And this is the, the way I show up when I'm stressed and kind of situation out of control and so on. This is who, this is who I become.

Vimla | 09:11

Hmm mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Zarrina | 09:12

And this is the part of myself I don't appreciate at all. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Vimla | 09:19

It's interesting you said restless controller and you don't appreciate it, and you also call them your saboteurs. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, do you have a name for your saboteur?

Zarrina | 09:32

I, I know I don't have a name, but restless controller. For me, it's a hat. I would say it's a, the, the visual part of it, it's a hat that I'm stepping in. So I'm quite, I'm quite good on realizing, okay. This is a re I'm, I'm very, I'm wearing the hat of restless controller so I can externalize it. It's not me, it's not whole hold me. Is it just a part of me?

Vimla | 09:55

Yes. It's just a part of you. Yeah. Great. All right. So right now you have the bracelet in your right hand. Yep. And you are the old version of you in that relationship with your kids. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, would you like to change that now in this moment?

Zarrina | 10:14

I would love to.

Vimla | 10:16

All right. So how shall we start? Are you going like,

Zarrina | 10:20

Sh can I move it <laugh>?

Vimla | 10:21

Yes. Can you move the bracelet? Yes. Can you?

Zarrina | 10:25

Uh, yes, I do. I do. Hmm.

Vimla | 10:29

Do you wanna do it right now? In this moment?

Zarrina | 10:32

Yes. I already did it.

Vimla | 10:34

<laugh>. Perfect. Define to me, who is this new version of you or this new relationship?

Zarrina | 10:42

Um, it's a very good question, and I think this is what I would love to explore together with you. Who am I in that relationship? Um, I would love to be in love and compassion. This is what come, comes from, come up for me first. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, it's, it's actually my leader within. And I always live, uh, trying to lead with loving compassion mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but somehow with my children, I'm losing it.

Vimla | 11:19

Mm. Are you saying you're losing, loving compassion?

Zarrina | 11:24

I'm, it's so easy to step in this saboteur's mode because that's, it's somehow false sense of authority. I think what's coming up for me, it says, and I dunno where this sense of controls actually comes from. Need. I don't want them to feel, and I don't want to be the controlling person because it's not me. It's not me in the role that of love and compassion.

Vimla | 12:04

Yeah. Alright, let's, let's focus on the left hand. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, your bracelet is on your left hand. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> in this moment, you are loving compassion. How do you feel that in your body?

Zarrina | 12:32

I think what's come up for me, it's a warmth in my chest. This is, uh, at least, uh, the first thing that's comes up. But I don't, honestly, I don't feel a hundred percent connected to that part either. Hmm. I think I'm here trying to connect, but he, in my heart, I'm not really there.

Vimla | 12:54

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. Let's put a hand on your heart if that's okay. Hmm. I'm gonna put a hand on my heart. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, do you connect to the bracelet, to the loving compassion, the bracelet on your left hand?

Zarrina | 13:20

No, actually I don't.

Vimla | 13:21

Mm, mm-hmm. <affirmative>, what part of your body is drawing your attention?

Zarrina | 13:29

It's still my hand. It's still my hand, but I, I don't feel, uh, I don't feel a hundred percent connected at the moment.

Vimla | 13:39

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you use a hundred percent, what percent connection is there?

Zarrina | 13:46

Maybe 70.

Vimla | 13:48

Mm mm-hmm. <affirmative> from the 70% connection.

Zarrina | 13:52

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>,

Vimla | 13:54

What do you see new in the relationship with your kids?

Zarrina | 14:02

Hmm. Very good question. I'm just trying to reflect when you, when you raised that question, what came up to me? It's a, a discussion that I had with my youngest one in the car yesterday. And he's saying, oh mama, you always only as human things, you don't listen. And this is what came up for me, uh, at first place. This has something to do with the listening. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to find for myself, what can I commit to. I don't want it to be a coaching session for the sake of recording.

Vimla | 14:57

Yeah.

Zarrina | 14:58

I, I want to really feel it.

Vimla | 15:01

Yeah.

Zarrina | 15:02

Something in my level of listening, what I would like to, to address

Vimla | 15:08

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So in this new relationship mm-hmm. <affirmative>, when your bracelet is on your left hand mm-hmm. <affirmative>, there is loving compassion, there is listening.

Zarrina | 15:27

Hmm.

Vimla | 15:28

What would you like to listen to?

Zarrina | 15:33

I think it's not what I would like to listen to. I what I wish they felt heard. I, I think it's, uh, it's not what, what is their perception of being heard? Because sometimes we say, yeah, I'm listening, but you are not there. And kids are very, uh, quick on kind of picking, picking up on it. Hmm.

Vimla | 16:05

Yes. So I'm gonna share an observation mm-hmm. <affirmative>, when we are talking about this new relationship, uh, um, the new version of you in the relationship. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you want to be loving compassion. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and you want to listen to them. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, who's listening to you?

Zarrina | 16:33

<laugh>. That is a good question.

Vimla | 16:43

Maybe we reframe this conversation slightly. Yeah. So your kids are not here in this conversation. No. You want to be a different version of you in that relationship. Yeah. Who do you want to be?

Zarrina | 16:59

Uh, I want to be, I want to be that person that, that I would, they lives up to. Hmm. I want to be that mom when they're old enough independently. What they said independently circumstances, we always felt Mom loves us. This is what I, this is what my biggest desire.

Vimla | 17:51

You want them to feel secure.

Zarrina | 17:53

I want them to feel loved and secure. Yes. And want them to feel heard.

Speaker 3 | 17:59

Yeah. Hmm.

Vimla | 18:01

This is all on them, what they feel,

Zarrina | 18:07

But it's my behavior that influence, who am I being at that moment? Influence them as well. How they perceive it.

Vimla | 18:17

Yes. So let's come back to you. Who would you need to be so that they feel these feelings?

Zarrina | 18:28

I need to be a loving and compassion. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I need to activate my I level three listening.

Speaker 3 | 18:34

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Vimla | 18:37

And how would you feel if you were that person?

Zarrina | 18:42

It would be fun. Feel wonderful.

Speaker 3 | 18:45

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>,

Vimla | 18:46

I already see a smile on your face and the frown is gone.

Speaker 3 | 18:52

<laugh>.

Vimla | 18:55

So are you that person now in this moment?

Zarrina | 18:59

I think I am. I think I am actually.

Speaker 3 | 19:03

Hmm.

Vimla | 19:06

Or go ahead.

Zarrina | 19:07

Uh, I just, uh, as before we start recording, I ask you, uh, I, I had a wish saying, you know, um, if I reached a moment of insight during the coaching session, I will let you know. So I don't need the coaching in this topic anymore. I need the time for reflection. And I think we just at that point.

Vimla | 19:29

All right, so what I'm hearing is let's end this session, here.

Zarrina | 19:32

Session. I think I would love to chew on this topic more mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But I need to, uh, to let this insight that I just had to kind of let it in. Yes. Let it sing in me so I can be fully present for this insight.

Speaker 3 | 19:54

Yeah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>,

Vimla | 19:56

Would you mind sharing what the, what is the insight that you just had?

Zarrina | 20:02

Um, what's the insight that I had? You helped me to realize that I am already that person. It's just whose lens I'm looking it through. As you say, perception can be intention and perception is could, could be very, very different. What was our intention and what someone perceived it? I just, you think you helped me to see that be your love and compassion and the rest, the rest will be sorted out.

Vimla | 20:54

Yeah.

Zarrina | 20:57

I think you somehow me gave me confidence back and it's just a, a reminder. Reminder. Hmm. Thank you.

Vimla | 21:07

You're very welcome. All right, let's end the coaching there. Hmm.

Zarrina | 21:12

Let's do that. Thank you.

Vimla | 21:18

So Zarina, how was that experience?

Zarrina | 21:22

Powerful, I would say.

Vimla | 21:24

Mm. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> And Zarina. You're a coach yourself and you know how the process works. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, how was your experience of process? Anything that stood out to you?

Zarrina | 21:37

I think you must have fully always brought me up back to my feelings. You always put the lens of me or the way I feel, and it's very easy to forget that lens. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Vimla | 21:51

Yes.

Zarrina | 21:52

<laugh>. It, it was like a, I'm in the, I'm trying the new glasses, so I've tried everyone's sells glasses except my own <laugh> belongs to me. <laugh>. This is, this is metaphor of our coaching session today. I would say.

Vimla | 22:10

<laugh>. That's wonderful. I love the metaphor <laugh>.

Zarrina | 22:14

<laugh>. I've forgotten to put my wrong glasses. And when you do, it's like, well, what I was talking about,

Vimla | 22:22

Everything is clear and mm-hmm. <affirmative> wonderful. Yeah.

Zarrina | 22:27

And you once again, proven to me how much you can achieve in 15 minutes. Achieve in terms of insight.

Vimla | 22:35

Yeah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Absolutely. Yeah. Coaching doesn't need a very long time. Yeah.

Zarrina | 22:43

And how, how did you perceive me as a coachee then?

Vimla | 22:49

Um, <laugh>, I'm not sure about the question. What do you mean?

Zarrina | 22:53

Um, what, what I'm trying to say is, uh, you know, it's like, uh, I felt we were drawing in the motor way and I, I were just always trying to take off on the left side and you pull me back, I'm taking the left and here or the right and you pull me back, this is what I had as a feeling. But you still, you stayed calm. You, I like the way you guided me through the journey.

Vimla | 23:20

Mm, mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. Like you said, you know, I, that's how I perceived <laugh>. Like, uh, you kept going to others and in this moment there are no others and you were happy to come back as well. It was not hard to bring it back. <laugh>.

Zarrina | 23:41

Thank you.

Vimla | 23:42

Wonderful. Anything else before end?

Zarrina | 23:46

No, thank you for giving me me this opportunity and especially putting me back, put the right, uh, glasses on me just before the big weekends, big holidays. Thank you, Emma.

Vimla | 23:58

Thank You're very welcome.

Lisa | 24:04

Wow, Vimla, that was a really impactful session it would seem, and I'm really curious what it was like for you.

Vimla | 24:15

Yeah. It, it was impactful. It was impactful in different ways, uh, in the session for me. It was like, um, you know, me and my client, we really connected. And although I have to say that it's not like I have known Zuri now all my life or something. I just met her by the, by the end of the session, you know, there was a moment where I felt like I'd known her all my life. It was that kind of a connection.

Lisa | 24:42

Hmm. Now I'm wondering what listeners are thinking because you may or may not as a listener have felt that or sensed that yet inside the container of the session there was this feeling for the coach and maybe perhaps a little bit for the client too, although she's not here to say that in this moment. Yeah. So I'm really curious just to speak about that because, you know, as a coach myself, I, I feel like that is one of those intangible things to anybody that's not in that container in the moment as it's happening when the energies are being exchanged as they're being exchanged. It could be hard for somebody listening to really get that piece, but that is the piece that really kind of catalyzes what's possible in the container.

Vimla | 25:39

Yes, absolutely. Some of that energy brings a lot of trust, trusting in the present moment, trusting that session, trusting the process. And I guess some of that is crucial to whatever the client is, um, working on, working towards, headed towards.

Lisa | 26:00

Yeah. And it is, you know, to bring it back to the skills that the coach would, would bring to this container, trust is one of those things like the ability to build this spontaneous relationship that can have enough trust in it, that these things can happen. Um, is is, it sounds like what you're describing, but I'm wondering if there were other areas where a trust was a theme in this session for you.

Vimla | 26:30

That's a great question. I think I really had to trust that my client knew whatever they needed to know. Like, especially towards the end of the session. I'm sure Lisa, you heard that, that, you know, at one point my client said that, okay, I'm clear now. I have an insight here and I would like us to stop. And as a coach I had no idea what that was and I just had to trust my client that they got what they needed, what they wanted in that moment.

Lisa | 27:04

Yeah. I definitely picked up on that listening and you know, cuz I'm listening from the prospectus of a coach and I'm thinking, well, what did she get? <laugh>, you know what, what, because it can be really tempting as a coach to get caught up in the story, in the elements of the story that is presenting or you know, the artifacts of what they're wanting, the details that they're presenting, and make the coaching session be about those things. But it seems like what you're saying, and, and kind of when you listen to this session more than once, what becomes clear is that the topic maybe had nothing to do with who the client was trying to become or why it was important to her, what she wanted for the others in the relationship she wanted to shift. But the topic or the marker of success for the session was when she received a piece of clarity that only she had the embodiment of. Of

Vimla | 28:10

Yes. Yes. I love that you bring the word embodiment here because you know, when my client said that there was, uh, there was so much shift in her appearance, it was almost like, you know, she was glowing suddenly and she was like, I am where I need to be and that's it.

Lisa | 28:30

Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. And if you get caught up in the details, you, you might miss that

Vimla | 28:37

<laugh>. Yes. <laugh>,

Lisa | 28:39

Yes. Yeah. So that was what was possible because of the trust, and I, I'll call out the skill that we talk about a lot in sessions, which was the sort of continuous curiosity. Yes. And that continuous curiosity seemed to, uh, evoke some awareness, evoking awareness being a competency. Yes. And was possible because of the continuous curiosity. So she arrived at this place that was her marker, that none of us knew what was behind it, but that she knew and that you had to trust. I'm wondering if there's anything else you wanna add about the container, like this idea that you and your client's, Zarrina we're in a, in a contained space. You know, some, some people may even say sacred space.

Vimla | 29:39

Yep.

Lisa | 29:40

Where there was this, there were catalyzers and there was alchemizing going on. <laugh> Yes. That only the two of you were aware of. And maybe you were only aware of it at a very not detailed level. Yeah. What else was in that container?

Vimla | 30:02

Mm, great question. I think some things that we've already said, the trust and, uh, curiosity, continuous curiosity. And, uh, there was this sort of, um, connection, I just can't find another word. So me and my client were connected and I was not going to allow that connection to break. So I was always present. Uh, if my client sort of, uh, you know, sidestep the connection, I would just follow her and bring the connection back and keep the connection going. And I was not gonna let her get disconnected from that moment, from that container, from that space, from that curiosity. So there was a lot of like, um, you know, witnessing going on. There were moments when my client wanted to distract themselves, but I would not let that happen. I was just gonna see them, witness them and keep the connection, connection to all the things that we have said. The trust, the curiosity, the present, some of that was going on.

Lisa | 31:21

Yeah, I I'm hearing that it was happening in a very committed way Yes. On your end. Yes. Like there's a, a level of commitment there to this, you know, we're not comparing the coaching conversation to a regular conversation that you would have in day-to-day life, but if we did <laugh>, you know, that level of commitment is unique to this kind of conversation, the coaching conversation, right? Yes. Oftentimes we're having conversations with other people while they are having conversations with somebody else on the phone in their hand, <laugh>.

Vimla | 31:54

Yes. Yes. Or in their heads also, or

Lisa | 31:58

In their heads or, yes. Any number of distractions that do not equal this level of commitment that catalyzed the container that the two of you shared for this very brief period of time. Yes. That brought the client to this place that you had no idea what it was. You just knew they were, they had arrived at the place that you had agreed Yes. Was the goal of the session. You didn't know what it was, which I have to believe also brings up this other element. Like a for you as a coach is like self-management.

Vimla | 32:34

Yes. <laugh>. Yes. I had to let go of my thinking brain. I just had to be present, be with, be committed to my client and follow their lead and hold onto them.

Lisa | 32:49

Yeah.

Vimla | 32:50

For a brief coaching conversation. I'd like to also point out that, um, you know, it was a short session. It was not like a one hour long session. It was 20 minutes or something, and it was almost like a magical session, <laugh> for the lack of a better word. So all we need is 20 minutes for magic to happen sometimes.

Lisa | 33:15

Yeah. And I feel like our intro and outro might compete in the number of minutes <laugh> with the session.

Vimla | 33:23

<laugh>.

Lisa | 33:24

And, and, and what I wanna say about that is, you know, we're explaining something that's really nuanced, maybe not for all coaches, because coaches who have experienced this may have a felt sense for what this is.

Vimla | 33:41

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>,

Lisa | 33:42

This being the container and the elements that are in the container that are sometimes invisible and elusive to language where although we're working really hard to put language to it, yes. <laugh>, um, it's a really special thing. Is there anything else?

Vimla | 34:05

I think, uh, there was a lot in my brain. There can be a lot of stories of other things that happened in the session, but nothing beats the magic that was there.

Lisa | 34:15

<laugh>. Yeah. Yeah. I really love presenting this slice of the session. You know, in, in coaching we, we explore different perspectives on things and there are many other perspectives we could have taken and presented here about that session. Yeah. But it's very, very clear that the alchemy <laugh> that occurred in the container was the primary piece that felt compelling to share. Yeah.

Vimla | 34:47

Lisa, let me ask you this. Did you hear the magic as you were listening?

Lisa | 34:53

Um, awesome question. I, I think so. I think the way that I felt it was when it ended, I had a little paradoxical experience when, when Zarina said, okay, I'm here. I got the clarity, like we said we were gonna do this. And so part of me was like, well wait, what was it? <laugh>, you know, that really human piece. And the other piece was no. Like I trust that she got that and you are very committed questioning and, and also your commitment to getting her into action, not knowing that it was like the right or wrong action. It was just a direction to go in, I think is how I, how I heard that. Hmm.

Vimla | 35:52

All right. So Lisa, what's happening next time?

Lisa | 35:56

So next time in episode 17, we're going to present another coaching session for your listening Pleasure. Awesome.