Episode 14: Teach, learn, love with Edwin Vega

Episode 14 continues our conversation series with professional certified coaches. This episode features a chat with coach Edwin Vega. You'll hear from Edwin about how he feels he's always been a coach, or at least coach-like. We learn about his particular approach with clients informed largely by his 'why' in life and his love of children.  Edwin shares how he even tells some of his corporate clients that he loves them. We know for some this may sound revolutionary!

Interesting to note that Edwin has become more of who he always was through his coaching journey. Perhaps just a more deeply concentrated version of himself. His essence is palpable in our chat and the very thing that is his signature with his clients.

Edwin is faculty at the Co-Active Training Institute. Another example of Edwin's investment in human via teaching, learning, and loving. We were thoroughly inspired by this conversation with Edwin and hope you are too!

#coaching #coachtraining #becomingacoach #essence #coachlike 

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Transcript

Vimla | 00:02

Hello, and welcome to Coaching Confidential, a podcast hosted by ICF certified professional coaches, Lisa DiMatteo and myself, Vimla Gulabani. In this podcast, we bring you inside a real live unscripted coaching session. And at the end of the coaching session, you hear from the client about the impact of the coaching. And you hear about the skills that the coach used in this episode, we are continuing our team from the last time and, uh, Lisa is gonna share more.

Lisa | 00:30

Yeah. So in episode 14, we are staying with the format of chatting with coaches. We are talking with coaches to understand a little bit about what it's like for them as a coach in their life. Maybe a little bit about what their life was like before and after becoming a coach. And in this particular episode, we're talking with another co coach Edwin Vega in this conversation with Edwin, we circle around several themes. One is a theme that we talked about in episode 13 with Terry. And that is how you handle situations in everyday conversation. When somebody that you're talking with believes that you might be coaching them. But really you're just having a conversation. We talk about how Edwin feels like he's kind of always been a coach or at least been very coach. Like we talk about his approach to coaching with his clients and we learn that it's not actually that different from his approach to life in general,

Vimla | 01:37

You know, hearing about what the conversation is, is already warming my heart.

Lisa | 01:42

Oh, I'm glad to hear it. I really enjoyed having the conversation and we kind of go all over the place, but hopefully you take away a sense of one really amazing person's point of view on life as a coach.

Vimla | 01:54

Yeah. Just a note for our listeners. As you start listening, Lisa introduces the topic to Edwin and then they go right into it. Enjoy

Lisa | 02:07

As coaches. We have coach like conversations in our personal lives, or maybe they're not even coach like conversations, but there are, are attributes to the way we be as a human in our relationships that might lead someone opposite us or someone we're in relationship with who isn't a coach to think that we're coaching with them. But we're like, no, like you can't be coached without permission. Like, like we're like as coaches we know, um, that is impossible. So we're thinking about the topic of what is it like to be a coach having maybe we've embodied some of these qualities. Maybe we already had them, maybe that's why we became a coach, right? Because we're already like naturally curious in asking lots of questions, but what is that like in our personal life? That's

Edwin | 02:56

Cool. I think people in my life just kind of naturally accept how I show up, which is very much coach embodied. And it's actually really helpful in relationships, you know, not to have to give advice and say like, well, what do you think you need to do? It's a coach question, but it's great to have it as a friend, cuz I'm not gonna give them advice. You know, that kind of thing.

Lisa | 03:14

Yeah. So where would you like to start with that?

Edwin | 03:17

My first job was as a tutor. I went to the Milton Hershey school, which is a boarding school that's funded by the Hershey chocolate company. So it's pretty cool. 51% of the proceeds go to the boarding school. So already part of like a, a era of philanthropy and I love giving back, but my first job was as a tutor and I was 12 years old. And I remember thinking like I was tutoring people who were older than me. And I remember thinking like, this is a little weird, like I'm helping someone who's older. I don't know what they're doing, but I knew I was making them feel better. So for me, my life as a coach, I do think part of my purpose is to really help people suffer less. You know, I realize we as humans kind of are the drivers of our own suffering. So since a young age, just by my presence, by my smile, my laugh, my genuine love for other people, it's helped lessen suffering in others. So even from a young age, I've been able to like tap into that, which is kind of cool thinking about now being a coach,

Lisa | 04:11

I love that help people suffer less. Would you say that that is your why for coaching?

Edwin | 04:17

It is kind of, I mean, you know, when I think of like the lens of what I'm here to do, it's like to teach to learn and then most importantly to love, like those are the three things. Cause even I have a teaching degree. So even as a, with a teaching degree, I always felt like I was learning and the experience, you know, so, and in the experiences where I was the student, the teachers would let me teach them, you know? So there's always this reciprocal kind of relationship in teaching. So for me, my focus around teaching learning, and then above all things like loving and that just has a lot of clarity to how I've kind of walked in life.

Lisa | 04:53

Yeah. It occurs to me that, and this is just my viewpoint on, on things I'd love to hear yours that learning and loving are inherent in the coaching session.

Edwin | 05:10

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Even teaching a little bit, you know, sometimes like, uh, a client might be like, wait, how do you do that? Or like, what do you mean? I don't have to suffer. There's moments of teaching, but learning, oh my gosh, I've hung up the phone many times thinking like, okay, what am I gonna do as a result <laugh> of this coaching session? Right? Like it's just so inspiring and loving. I mean, oftentimes the only thing that a client need is for someone to be with them, support them. And I've been very surprised often that that is like the only thing the client really needs in that moment. And of course they're gonna multiply and amplify that the minute they leave and live their life outside of the coaching session. So for me in coaching, like love is Supreme, you know, in that way.

Lisa | 05:59

Yeah. That's beautiful. I, I know many excellent coaches who, um, think the same and, and really put that at the front. I'm thinking it's a catalyst.

Edwin | 06:11

Well, no, there, I think it is interesting. Right? Cause I think what we're really saying is like, I believe in you, I'm gonna stretch you. I want the best for you. I want the best for this relationship. Um, at your lowest, I wanna embrace you and support you at your lowest. I want you to embrace and support yourself. Um, I wanna dream into your dreams. I wanna support your dreams. Like, and when we think about it, I think when we feel that essence of love, even familial love, there is a thing of safety in feeling like you could just be yourself. And I feel like that's what I think of love. And when we think of love and coaching and I even corporate wise, I, I feel like I love all my clients. Um, and sometimes our moments where we say we love them. Like it is just in innate, pure blissful, simple thing that just comes into the relationship and it feels right.

Lisa | 07:03

Yeah. I love that. It's it's not so much the love, but what the love is saying.

Edwin | 07:08

Oh yeah, for sure.

Lisa | 07:10

For sure. All those messages that you just, you know, that you just translated, that, that the love is saying get transmitted, get communicated. Yeah. And, um, this is a little bit of a different realm, but I feel like you said, create safety and that is so necessary. <laugh> mm-hmm <affirmative> and like, you know, from a spiritual place like that first chakra, the base is like Maslow's hierarchy, like the bottom mm-hmm <affirmative> right. It's the base from which everything else builds on top of. So once we have a good foundation, the safety, then everything else can, can be built upon it.

Edwin | 07:53

Well, thinking of love, like I think hopefully someone's first love is familial love. Like they're getting, being born into this world that they can feel safety from their parents or their support system. And that sets up a base of needs, you know? So I think coaching is the same thing of like, what is that base? That foundation, if they can feel it, the minute that they connect with us, that's the thing that life strive for, like right away.

Lisa | 08:18

Yeah. And if they do that actually makes all the other things that happen possible really quickly,

Edwin | 08:32

So quickly. So I'll tell you a story actually of like how I met someone. They were like, oh, Edwin's a coach, we're at a bar. And they're like, oh, Edwin's a coach. And of course the person rolled their eyes right away. I think they said, Edwin's a life coach. So that might have just amplified their bias. Um, and immediately I didn't even get to say hello back the person goes, oh, I've had a coach before and was like, whoa. <laugh> they told me a lot just by saying that. And I was like, oh, okay. And you know, I was like, how was it? And you know, they, they talked about how they didn't get a lot of the experience and it just, it didn't serve them, you know, five minutes later, the woman's like, are we coaching right now? And I said, well, we're talking about something that's really important to you.

Edwin | 09:12

And we're just kind of exploring it. And I said, if you wanna really coach let's have time outside of that. I'm not gonna coach her at a bar. Um, and she connected after we became coaching client. But what was really interesting too, down the road, like maybe 10 months in, I was feeling like, oh, I don't know if they're getting anything out of this. And I actually just asked her, I was like, are you getting something out of this? And she said, you know, it's helpful to connect with someone who cares about me and is listening to me and just letting me be, and that was a big lesson for me not to get into the weeds about what the client is getting and try to figure it out the value. It was like, wow, this is what she needs. So how can I just keep showing up and being there? And of course adding a structure of like a focus, what she wants to get out of the session, but it actually helped me to focus on the more important thing, which was that love between us in terms of coaching client to support her.

Lisa | 10:07

Yeah. That's a beautiful story. I, and I think that in some ways, at least the moment where somebody says, oh,

Edwin | 10:17

<laugh>,

Lisa | 10:18

I've had a coach,

Edwin | 10:19

The eyes, I know people might be hearing you, but it starts with the eyes. Like you just did the eyes raised. There's a little bit of a pull back <laugh>

Lisa | 10:27

Yeah. Yeah. Like it's kind of like a dubiousness or in, like you said, indicative of another moment that they've had in time.

Edwin | 10:37

Yeah. Are you trying to get me or trying to change me? There is something that can click that way. And I think what's happened is like in my life, I think people just have always experienced me in general of like being very coach-like. I, listen, I put the focus on them. So in my life it's been really easy to blend in all these things. It doesn't feel like a big gap for me to, instead of giving advice, ask someone a question. So people in my life don't get triggered and of course I'm making sure I'm truly not coaching them. So there is a tension there that I try to kind of keep activated.

Lisa | 11:08

Yeah. Yeah. Well, so you're, you're staying on the right side of the line that, you know, but not everybody on the other end knows that there is even a line. Yeah. I wanna come back to what you just said about who you inherently be or how you inherently be. So for listeners Edwin and I met one on one for the first time, just about an hour ago, and I would say you very much and my very limited experience, right? We're looking at each other on boxes on a scooter <laugh>

Lisa | 11:38

But based on the dialogue that we've had in this short space of time, I really get this sense from you of complete spaciousness, the way you approached our conversation was very like kind of sitting back and offering, but not being attached and everything that you've said, I feel from you. It's like, I feel this place of possibility in our conversation, even though our conversation has an agenda to it, I feel the love, you know, the, the care that you have, um, for this space that we're sharing conversation in mm-hmm <affirmative> and for the things that you speak about that are important to you in the world.

Edwin | 12:23

Wow. Well first let me just receive that and say, thank you is like, whoa, um, don't wanna gloss over that. Which could be a, a default that I could go to. I just think that's like the essence of truly coming together, you know, like even think about coaching client, can you come together and feel like, wow, that time went by so fast or, wow. The focus was on me as a client, but I feel so connected to you, you know, there is this magical thing and like, yes, I do this for my profession, but how do we actually get to do that in our day to day interactions? Can we look at the cashier at a grocery store and look him in the eyes and ask him, how is he doing in this moment? Yeah. You know, and just appreciate every person. I think I've had a lot of practice.

Edwin | 13:06

Cause I, when I meet children, I light up all the time. So even that with children, can we light up when we see them? There's something very beautiful about that. Cuz when someone lights up, when they see us, it's like, oh my gosh, wow. Um, I want that. And I feel like that's another essence of coaching. Like one of my primary values that I don't articulate in words often is enthusiasm. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. So to coaching, I bring enthusiasm. Like, can I get the best out of this person? Can I help them rediscover new things, old things revitalize themselves. Like, and I get to bring that in my energy, obviously right now I'm really high frequency energy, but enthusiasm can look in a lot of different ways. So for me, that falls into that loving the coaching, the client, that environment, enthusiasm, authentic, compassionate.

Lisa | 13:50

Yeah. Seeing other and letting them know that we're seeing them by how we be when we are with them or how we arrive with them. Yeah.

Edwin | 14:02

And you do it immediately in coaching, you have the opportunity right away. Like we're here to coach, but I'm more here to be with you.

Lisa | 14:12

Yeah.

Edwin | 14:12

And can you send that message and every other way that you're communicating, whether it's an email, a thoughtful text or in the session from the very beginning, I think that's important.

Lisa | 14:25

Yeah. And I can see with out a lot of data for sure, but I can see how elements of who you be as Edwin, the human in this world, um, lend themselves to this process.

Edwin | 14:42

Mm mm. It makes me think like, I think I always wanna feel welcome going somewhere. So obviously I project that back to myself. How do I make others feel welcome? And so I think coaching's about that like right away. How do you make someone feel super welcome in an easy, authentic way. And then that allows me then too, to build a lot of leverage around like what I can push the client on what I can challenge them on. Um, how I can be very direct, cuz it comes with warm cuddles in some form or way of through my words and my, uh, environment that I try to create.

Lisa | 15:13

Yeah. Your point about like if you approach somebody generously, it is like setting the table. If you approach somebody in a less than generous way, then you don't really have a lot on the table to work with. Like it's a bear table.

Edwin | 15:31

You may not even take them to the table if I'm gonna feed off of your metaphor. You know? I mean, I, I do think that's really important cuz I think what I got, what, from what you were saying is like maybe the way we show up as humans and coach don't have to be different in the way that we be more about like how do we apply it on the doing side, in a coaching, session's gonna look a certain way. And then when I'm with my family, it's gonna look a certain way. But me the, the foundation of where I've sourced that from stays the same. And I think unfortunately as humans, we feel like we have to keep constantly changing and maybe I'm trying to shift the focus of just, oh, I'm just changing the way I'm applying it or expressing it so that the foundation doesn't have to keep changing.

Lisa | 16:12

Yeah. Yeah. Well that certainly preserves a lot more energy. I imagine as a coach <laugh>

Edwin | 16:21

Hopefully, you know, <laugh> again, I think I mentioned children. That's what's great about kids. Like I think they just keep bringing me back to like my core essence of silly and love and sweet and care and protecting and silly and directness cuz even with children, they need directness too. Um, I just think there is something about the childlike essence of that, that I was like, oh I could keep going back to that.

Lisa | 16:45

Yeah. Yeah. So there's one other thing I wanna come back to and then I wanna ask you what you think is left here before we, before we close, you mentioned this experience at the bar and you know, now we're talking about like there's an origin to who and how you be in the world and it looks this way and your personal life and you know, probably differently in different relationships. And it looks differently in the coaching relationship. But since not everybody gets full view of that, you don't have like a billboard on your head that says like Edwin in social mode <laugh>,

Edwin | 17:22

You know,

Lisa | 17:23

Like coaching is, the coach is now in session. People don't know that. I'm just wondering, do you have anything else you wanna share about how you inform others or create that boundary? We, we talked about teaching before in a session, but like not to say, we have to teach somebody outside a session, like how, how, what we do looks <laugh>, you know, but like yeah. Anything you wanna add about that in general?

Edwin | 17:54

Yeah. I'm just thinking, I mean, it, it, it makes me think, I think one of the, maybe more basic things I think many of us may use is like, when we're talking with friends is like, how do you need me? Or how can I serve you? Do you, me to listen only like lit literally only listen <laugh> do you need me to give you advice? Or do you want me just to be a sounding board, you know, to really kind of articulate and design that oftentimes I, I just, I, I kind of commit to being more of a sounding board. That's just my thing of like, which means I'm gonna be listening a lot more and then feedback with curiosity, like, oh, what is it that you want? Or what is upsetting you or what is scaring you about this? I don't feel like I'm coaching cuz I'm not push. I'm not going in some direction. They've not set the goal that they want. I'm not saying what would be the best possible outcome. I mean, you know, that's very coach like, but it really is just like listening, giving back with some curiosity. That's kind of like my, I think pattern that I find myself that feels safe and protected in that way.

Lisa | 18:56

Yeah. I love that. And as I listen to you, I'm realizing sort of the crux to the difficulty that I find sometimes in this space, what you just described is being an intentional relationship. But to me anyways, right. And that's something that I've really, uh, the pandemic period has really turned me on to the idea of like how I wanna be intentional in my relationships of all sorts. Right. What is the intention that I have? And what does it actually look like in the actual system of the relationship?

Edwin | 19:29

Like a real deal on the ground aspect of that relationship?

Lisa | 19:33

Yes. And I get that the way I'm describing that is potentially someone could say as very coach, like, or I'm using coach words, that's fine. I copped to that <laugh> it happens. Um, but I do think it's not new people have been approaching relationships this way for, you know, a long, long time. But I think that in this culture and depending upon this culture at this time, it can be surprising to people.

Edwin | 20:03

Mm.

Lisa | 20:04

And so like when you say, and, and here are the two phrases that I was thinking about when you were talking like, like I really wanna be a good friend to you right now. Like how can I be a good friend right now? I really want to like, I'm tempted to give advice, but I, I get that that might not be what's wanted or needed right now. And, and that sounds different in the coaching space. Like how can I be a good coach? Might sound like setting the agenda for the topic or really asking the client what they wanna take away from a session and a million other things. And I've had this experience, I've asked somebody a question I've been brought that curiosity that you talk about and maybe other the person on the other side, doesn't have an answer to the question and that can trigger someone or shake them up sometimes. And like, you can get agitated cuz I, I actually, and I've had this, I've been this person, what do you need right now, Lisa? Well, that's a pretty generous question. It's abundant to be on the other end of that question.

Edwin | 21:07

Or what if you don't even want to think about what you need cuz you're so pissed off, you know, that could be, that could be the thing too. So that's the last question I needed

Lisa | 21:16

Where you're listening. So you said listening to curiosity where you thing where you're listening can be really, really like beautiful. Right. But I've been like, I don't even know where I am, so I don't even know what I need, but I, I think I'm supposed to know what I need. So automatically my inner critic shows up and it's like, you don't know what you need, you idiot. Like, and then like I'm hearing that and then I'll respond to the other person. Like I don't know, you know, like, and in a way that you don't, I don't want to, but I think what happens is being an intentional relationship, whether it's the intention of being a coach to a client or the intention of being a friend to a friend or a partner to a partner or whatever the relationship is, it can be kind of a revolutionary idea. Mm-hmm <affirmative> because we sometimes slide into relationships with unspoken expectations about how those relationships go.

Edwin | 22:10

And then five years down the road, we have patterns that are already there. So then imagine you do have an awakening, you become a coach, you're embodying all this coach stuff. And then that could be jarring to that five years of patterns. Versus I love that. You talk about intentional, like imagine someone does get triggered. Why are you coaching me? You might add a time outside of that conversation say, Hey, I am actually bringing different language cuz I'm a changed person. Here's my, how I might be. I might be asking more questions. I'm not coaching you. I can show you what coaching really is. But actually being intentional about designing that in the relationship. So the people come along with you. Yeah. There's a bit of a gap. You're somewhere else. You've moved away from some of the patterns of the relationship. See where they wanna meet you, that new road that you'll create create together. That has a little bit of both. So that it's less jarring. I think that's that whole teach, learn love for me is like, oh I have to teach people how to treat me how I'm gonna be treating them. I have to learn how it's going. Oh, I need to adjust. And then ultimately can I always be doing it from a foundation of love in the middle of all of that?

Lisa | 23:15

Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Edwin, you have such beautiful words to, um, to describe this thing that, um, this teach piece too, like, oh, I'm teaching from a new iOS. Like I have a new iOS that's been downloaded <laugh> yeah. Like, let me, let, let me let you know what the new features are of it

Edwin | 23:36

Or can I show you what those features are without even naming them? Can you be the difference that, can you be the aspects of that new iOS, um, without needing to brag about it enroll or, you know, convince just, just be, that might be the thing that just sends more messages that gets people on board in ways without even needing to try quote unquote.

Lisa | 23:58

Yeah. Yeah. That's really beautiful. Is there anything else that you wanna add or

Edwin | 24:04

No, I love this conversation. I think it is just, it is been expansive from the very beginning, even before we hit the record button. And so I think that just is proves like, oh, that means we're in some zone that zone of empowering relationship, uh, even having met less than an hour ago. Um, and I, and I think my hope too, I think that drives me as a coach is that we can do that with everyone, every single person, a four year old, a homeless person on the street who may be asking for money that you don't want to give cashier at a store. It's just like there's every moment is the opportunity to make someone else like the perfect partner for you.

Lisa | 24:42

Yeah.

Edwin | 24:43

You just meet the moment, you know,

Lisa | 24:46

I love that we can be expansive with everyone,

Edwin | 24:49

Everyone.

Lisa | 24:49

Yeah. It's also a bit proactive.

Edwin | 24:52

Yeah. And it's a bit wild too, to think. Woo everyone. <laugh> and though, but like that makes life engaging. It makes life feel like a little bit like you're on the edge versus a zombie, like, you know, wait a minute. Yeah. I'm gonna, Ooh, it's hard to be with that person. And can I find one thing I love about them and remind myself of that and relate more to that versus the things that are not that's what's really important.

Lisa | 25:16

Yeah. And it's just so very human

Edwin | 25:18

Well, and also can then I then do that to myself cuz we tend to be hard on ourselves. So then if I'm willing to only see the only the amazingness in other people, let me do that first at home. Yeah. Let me take care of that business first, you know?

Lisa | 25:32

Yes. Completely. That's another whole conversation I'd love to have <laugh> perhaps in the future. So Edwin, what would you like listeners who may hear this to know about you and what you do?

Edwin | 25:43

Uh, let's see. Um, I'm committed to supporting people. I love children. I love impacting lives of children and the people that work with children. I, uh, I work as a leadership development coach, uh, one on one and in groups I also teach teacher staff and community members at schools, how to coach children to improve executive function skills. So to me that seems like, oh, let's, let's help the younger generations to, uh, live from a more empowered mindset to find strategies and get into action and have accountability. So I love that work as well. And I also believe in scholarship, I head up CTI scholarship program that they now have given over $300,000 in the past year to increase representation in the classroom. Not only for, um, who gets coach, but who gets access to coaching. And that's really important for me. And um, yeah, that's probably the best way to talk about it. And the best way to find me is like I'm LinkedIn to connect, talk and um, see what it can be.

Lisa | 26:45

Excellent. So it's Edwin E D w I N V E G a Vega.

Edwin | 26:50

Yeah.

Lisa | 26:51

A most lovely individual. Ah

Edwin | 26:55

<laugh> thank you.

Lisa | 26:58

Yeah. And I wanna tech on one more quick question, is there one thing, body of work, client issue, challenge, cause that you would like to put a special, like I want, like I want this thing to come to me, I'm seeking this right now.

Edwin | 27:23

You know, my life is kind of expanding in the capacity of taking care of an elder parent, um, and diving more into the world about learning about cancer and how to treat someone and support someone. Um, so I think I'm just looking in, in a world of like how, what am I here to learn? I'm kind of in that zone of like, this is here to teach me something, how do I open up to it? How do I surrender? But also how do I give back? Cause I'm kind of in the zone of that. And so, um, I think I'm like, oh this is an expansion moment. <laugh> maybe in ways that I don't on paper want to expand, but it may be time to surrender a little bit there.

Lisa | 28:02

Yeah, yeah. In the context of the elder parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Tender territory

Edwin | 28:09

Tender for sure. But important. Um, and definitely brings in the cyclical aspect of life, you know, so bigger things, you know, which I love, cuz it's not about me wanting a new phone or where am I gonna live or what this or that it's like, oh, relationship, which is funny, cuz that's what, that was our entry point, the doorway of coaching relationship. And I feel like everything's always about relationship when we talk about love. I don't normally think about only by myself, love self-love yes. Is key foundational important, but I always feel like it's always about being in relationship with others. So I think that's important.

Lisa | 28:46

Beautiful. Well, thank you for sharing that. Edwin

Vimla | 28:53

Lisa, that was a beautiful conversation, very warm in some ways. How was your experience having that conversation

Lisa | 29:02

First? Let me tell you how I felt because that's much more present for me chatting with Edwin. I felt warm inspiration. It was so easy to chat with him. There's probably a lot of reasons why that is. But the first one that occurs to me is he was so deeply in his essence. Like he was so genuinely being who he is. And I think it's really easy to be with folks who are in that space.

Vimla | 29:37

Yes you're so, so right. You know, at one point Edwin also talked about one of his values being enthusiasm. I think that came across so much in the conversation. He was very enthusiastic. He was very present. Yeah.

Lisa | 29:53

And it's making me actually now recall the feeling of it again I'm so like thinking about how I felt talking with Edwin and that enthusiasm felt energizing. Yeah. I can only imagine what it feels like for his clients. Yeah. You know how that enthusiasm might show up maybe as energizing for clients and how empowering that might be.

Vimla | 30:16

Yeah. And that energy can take the clients in all different places. That's so powerful. So let's shift gears and talk a little bit about what was being revealed in the conversation. So I think I heard that once someone becomes a coach, like once non coaches, we like as we go through training and become a coach, what it really does to us is it enables us to be who we are at the deeper levels in today's conversation. Edwin was talking about his values of teach, learn, love that were always with him that became more and more present as he became a coach. He became more of who he always was and who he intentionally wanted to be.

Lisa | 31:05

Yeah. And I have so much respect for that. It actually inspires me to be in my essence. Yeah. I really think it's such a beautiful asset as a coach, which is, I guess part of Edwin's essence is what he was saying.

Vimla | 31:22

Yes, absolutely true. So Lisa, let's revisit why we were doing this a few episodes ago. We talked about, you know, how, when we become a coach, sometimes it has, um, impact on our relationships, the relationship patterns change, and that can be confusing in our relationships. So connecting the dots here, if we are becoming more of who we are at a deeper level, does that mean that our relationships are going to become more deeper and more authentic?

Lisa | 32:00

Yeah, I think, um, so far we've talked with Terry and we've talked with Edwin and they've both reported that their relationships have shifted the process of becoming a coach changed each one of them. And for Terry was a little bit different than for Edwin Edwin sort of reported that he just became more of who he already was. Um, I think what we're looking at here is the journey of a coach. You know, we know that an experiential coach training has an impact on a human mm-hmm <affirmative> <affirmative> right. Going through the training to become a coach and then being a coach will shift who and how you be in the world to some degree. Yeah. Whether it's a lot or a little, whether it's the actual relationships you have or how you be in those relationships or the outcome of those relationships. And so it's so interesting to hear these stories from these coaches about what that has been like for them.

Vimla | 33:10

Yeah. It's fascinating.

Lisa | 33:12

What I loved about this conversation with Edwin was the simplicity of his, why, you know, it's just an expression of his true essence, which has always been, and as he really owns that essence and lets it be what it is, he can be much more deeply in relationship. He can be deeply in relationship with anybody around him, but in particular his clients.

Vimla | 33:48

Yes. Yes. That's so, so very true. And I also want to acknowledge, uh, what you and Edwin talked about towards the end that, you know, when we become a coach, um, you use the metaphor of an updated iOS. So it's an opportunity to tell the people we are in a relationship with on how to use this new iOS. What are the features, what are the changes, how you may have changed as a person and uh, how the relationship is changing.

Lisa | 34:23

Yes. And while our conversations have been focused around the coach, you know, in these last two episodes and in, in the upcoming episode, it will be the same way. There is also the same invitation for the client. If people come to coaching for all sorts of things. But one of the things that is possible is that a client wants to shift somehow who, or how they be or what they do. Mm-hmm <affirmative>, which often requires shifting who or how they be. So it's really, you know, clients can come to coaching for their own iOS upgrade <laugh> yes. Or to install an app, you know, maybe they just wanna install an app. They wanna add something onto who or how they be.

Vimla | 35:09

Yes. Yes. That's so, so very true. And I love the metaphor. Maybe we'll use it again. <laugh>

Lisa | 35:16

<laugh> and I suppose it's a very applicable, uh, metaphor in the 21st century.

Vimla | 35:23

Yes <laugh> absolutely. Um, so Lisa, you alluded to the next episode, so what's happening in the next episode.

Lisa | 35:31

Yeah. So what's that gonna be? Episode number 15?

Vimla | 35:35

Yes. 15.

Lisa | 35:36

Wow. So in episode 15, we are going to talk with another coach whose name is Howard, and we will explore what it's like for him to be a coach who is married to another coach. Wow. So, um, just another twist on what it's like to be a coach.

Vimla | 35:56

Yes. So I guess two operating systems get updated at the same time and the two are different and then what happens? Yeah. We find out

Lisa | 36:05

Makes me wonder, are they both the same iOS or is one of them apple and the other one is Android <laugh>. Hmm. I guess you'll have to listen to find out. Yes. End of nerdy metaphors.

Vimla | 36:21

Yes. All right. So until next time.